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The Pride of Lions
by Feech
Somewhere, a lint brush supplier is enjoying
the mint he is making off me. Brush, brush, pick,
brush. It's like some kind of physical mantra. I
have no less than six lint brushes at home, and
have lost count of the number I keep in the
drawers and on the tables at the store.
Pick, brush, pick, pick, brush. There.
Carmel Sherwood, at your service. And, yes, I had
the name _before_ the caramel-hued fur. I look in
the mirrors, checking all angles of my suit before
deciding I am certainly hair-free, aside from the
coat that, since SCABS, blankets my face and
thumbed paws. I rock my ears slowly, distracting
myself with their movement as I complete my
presentation with shoes and overcoat and make my
way out the front door to the street.
It's always quiet, before the seven-thirty
meetings we hold every Monday in the small, rarely
used neighborhood hall in this rather dark corner
of the City. Thank goodness for my ears'
dexterity; their motion keeps me sane, again like
a physical mantra of some SCABS philosophy,
keeping my feet to a controlled, tapping rhythm on
the deserted sidewalk as I think and think and
think some more.
I have never been afraid, and now I may just
go over the edge into vicious, so I keep my ears
moving the way one might pick at their fingernails
or crack their knuckles with pent-up, angry
energy. If anyone pulls anything tonight, so help
me-- but I know I am setting an example, perhaps
the _only_ example for many of the people who will
be attending our meeting tonight. What a chance,
and yet what a chance to blow it, too. This could
go so many ways. Gentleman is my middle name, if
you want to get figurative; I must try to keep it
that way.
The lights at the whitish (needs paint) hall
shine out on several strangers entering through
the single, wooden front door... I hear so many
voices that I cannot place that at first I feel
this must be wrong. Then a sort of triumph
thrills through me. They came. They're coming.
They're here, and I _will_ have my say. We all
will. If we can keep it professional, no reason
why any violence should break out, and this could
be exactly the chance I have been hoping it will
be. We have been waiting for this for a long
time, and it is only because of the horror that
had to precede it that I feel any fear at all.
Fear for the emotions of others, really. But this
cannot be pussyfooted around, if you will, and
allow us to come out ahead. We must be blunt. We
must be bold.
They're _here_. They are within the range of
our voices, they have entered our space. Put all
this angry energy into arguing, I tell myself.
Talk it out. _Prove_ your point. No one here
directly affected the rabbit cause before this,
most likely. They are curious; we have become a
media fad... For the short time we are, we must
fight with all the resources we can acquire.
It has been an uphill fight.
When I got SCABS, several years ago, it
became a laughing matter with my family. What
began as a nervous attempt to lighten the blow of
change grew into a joke for the relief of any
tension during family SCABS discussion... He he,
a haberdasher with a full coat of fur. Chuckle,
guffaw, ha ha ha. It makes me smile, actually,
now. This is manifested as a little wrinkle of
the left side of my short muzzle. The constant
struggle to keep the stock at the store free of my
own hairs has become a comforting reminder of my
family's true, if nervous, support, and whenever
they call from Oklahoma I first have to answer
"What do you want for Christmas this year?" with
"Well, I can always use another lint brush."
Giggle, chuckle, and on with the real news, with
real life. We kind of _ease_ into it.
No wife, no kids, no pets. Nothing against
any such things-- just determined to get something
else started first. Tonight may be the stepping
stone I need, but I hesitate to get too excited;
the anger comes on stronger when I think of the
kind of thing we are fighting, of the
misinformation running rampant with powerful and
power-mad individuals supporting it all the way.
Sure, pick on the rabbits. It stands to reason,
timid little things, satisfy your need for an easy
victory for your macho side... And they listen.
They _believe_ these things.
Before I had SCABS, I didn't know one end of
a rabbit from another, and quite frankly, it
didn't matter, because I never had any contact
with any animals other than the neighbor's
curly-coated dog. And people have tried to tell
me of the fear that will come, of the extreme
difficulty of running a clothing shop for men
where I come into contact with dozens of strangers
each day, of the wisdom of withdrawing from
society and huddling in a cage somewhere.
Well, I didn't listen to them. And I went
out and got some books of my own, and I made some
friends, and we have been working towards a goal
which, in so many directions, seems impossible.
But ahead, over one more hurdle, may well be the
way, the real, true way.
I stride purposefully into the neighborhood
hall, eyeing newcomers with impartial, neutral
greeting and winking at Susan when she greets me
with a determined nod. I take my place at the
long, cheaply veneered folding table at the far
end of the room and clear my throat. Amazingly,
all chatter stops.
I have that kind of voice, deep and somewhat
growly and commanding of attention even when
simply preparing to speak-- but the utter
attentiveness of the gathering is at once
encouraging and frightening. They truly are
interested. That means that one slip could be
dreadfully harmful to the cause, even to our
individual selves. I glance once for support to
Susan and the other regulars who have arrived thus
far, and gain a small smile from Susan. I nod
gratefully and turn my attention back to the
assembly.
Between the formation of the thought and the
rising of sound to my lips, whole memories and new
ideas come and go as if in one breath I must
decide what is to be spoken tonight. Yet I know
this is just a beginning... Trite, in its way,
yet deeply risky and certain, so dreadfully
certain, to be ineffectual where it counts most.
The day will still come, I tell myself. I will
probably be at the head of it, then, supported by
the members of a group who feel my charisma, voice
and education may best represent us politically.
We tried, for years, to raise funds for a
private lapine colony, run for lapines by lapines
and educated normals and other individuals with
SCABS, but the government has seen fit to
illegalize the privatization of SCABS colonies in
the United States of America.
That being the case, we held onto our
oh-so-slowly accumulating funding and took a
different tack. One in which I figure heavily--
the reorganization of the _government's_ colonies.
Get yourself hired, Carmel, said the members and
supporters of our little Pride group. Fight it
until you're the _head_ of one of those things.
They can't discriminate against someone with the
kinds of evaluations you've had. And this is the
time to get public opinion on our side. Tonight
is a start. So many voices will speak out here
that I feel overwhelmed to know them all.
Tom Henway-- was a rabbit, is a rabbit, knows
full well and admits that, while in the form of a
huge Belgian hare, he was a violent drunk and a
very angry man. His form has returned to human,
by some twist of the virus, yet he feels a great
kinship with the form that taught him what he
really was. Tom still considers himself a
rabbitmorph, and speaks publicly on the subject of
SCABS nationwide. He will be here tonight. His
current health he credits to the animal he became,
the animal whose frustration would not be
squelched and whose angry outbursts were Tom's
own.
"SCABS is not an excuse," says Tom. He is
speaking to Mr. Geusz tonight, if the bereaved
rabbit will hear him. Later, he will join us and
have his say. "The Press is for us," he told me
over the phone, "and as long as they are, as long
as there is outrage, there is a chance to get a
word in for the lapines. I will try to talk to
Mr. Geusz, but in a way he is, has been, part of
his own problem. It is uncertain whether he will
talk to me. _We_ have to act now, whether _he_ is
ready or not. I know you and your group can field
questions about lapines far better than I could...
My area is the psychology of SCABS overall. But I
will come, and I will back you up."
Susan. A rabbitry owner from way back and a
source of fascinating and emboldening information
for those of us who meet every Monday night. I
can sense her apprehension from here, through the
crowd and the smell of old carpet and plastic, and
I know that of all people she has the most to
fear. We did not _choose_ our SCABS. No one can
accuse us, rightfully, of any action taken through
desire for the disease. We are here for support.
Many times, it is Susan who gives it. Be we
beaten, cursed, misunderstood, yes-- even killed,
we who have SCABS can go down knowing the accuser
is _wrong_. But what can Susan say to those who
deride her for choosing to spend her time with
SCABS? She is not the only normal to do so,
certainly, and for each one that does there is a
special attack, but with her it has to be the fact
that rabbits have long been her companion animal
of choice. The chances for a bestiality insult
are too obvious for many a low individual to pass
up. They call her a devil, we who benefit from
her knowledge and giving call her a saint, and in
other circles the exact opposite is going on,
around and around and around.
Our Susan will ever be accused of choosing to
spend her time with us. However, by a natural
courage instilled in us by our rabbit forms and
upheld by Susan's encouraging stories of the
stories of born rabbits, we will ever kick and
bite the jerks who say so.
But not tonight. In my immaculate suit and
gleaming coat, I am setting an example of
human-turned-rabbit, a man in a new shape, a
business owner from here in the City. A City
invaded by government agents determined to cash in
on the fable of the SCABS rabbit. If anybody lays
a hand on Susan or any of the other friendly
normals, let the guards handle them.
If I asked you to guess, off the top of your
head, what species is represented most, besides
lapines, in our Pride group gatherings, what would
you guess? Soft, fluffy-- what? Try dogs. Soft
and fluffy nothing, unless you count the Bichon,
Opal, who stops by every few sessions or so.
The dogmorphs are our second largest
representation here, although tonight, of course,
the majority are curious normals and members of
the Press. What do the rabbits, those weird
little creatures, have to say about this? Are
they cowering in their homes, afraid to come out
because of the Colony Man? Are they whimpering
masses of plushy fuzz, staring at the grey picture
of a hanged man, unable to tear themselves away
from a horror which must surely be theirs? Don't
they _all_ wish they were dead?
Whimpering, my ear. I was _growling_. Could
have given the dogs a run for their money. A
low-degree rabbitmorph from the paper got us some
copies of a police photo to show around and arouse
some anger. It worked, too. Jake Helsner is
sitting on his wife's lap right now, kneading her
slacks in a distractedly angry fashion much the
way I swivel my ears, mumbling to himself despite
the silence of the room. Jake's wife watches the
newcomers, unconcerned by her husband's quiet
ranting. She knows he has never been saner. The
colony rep should just be glad that was a closed
hearing. At least, by now, we have all settled
into the knowledge that the most politically
advantageous stand to take is an eminently civil
one.
The dogmorphs have great respect for we who
frequent these gatherings, for they have found a
kinship with another domestic species. We
domestic European rabbit SCABS are not as rare as
you might think, and we are learning, and trying
to show, the advantages to this particular form.
In this, the dogs join us. Could SCABS possibly
be affected by the victim's mind striving toward
something appropriate, something familiar or, in
certain cases, something seemingly inevitable? We
do not, of course, know, and this disease becomes
more and more mysterious with every question the
researchers think they have answered.
Domestic animals, most especially the dog,
were made by man, in man's own image. Our social
tendencies, our toughness, our usefulness to
ourselves, being the man combined with the rabbit,
come from centuries of design. The domestic forms
are works of art. When we began to attest to
this, dogs joined us, realizing that we had the
same sort of support to offer them. All of us
domestic morphs are designed to coexist with man,
and with each other. We have actually sparked a
Canine Pride offshoot, and there is talk of
involving horsemorphs. We would certainly be glad
to include them.
Right now, however, the question of lapine
competency has once again overshadowed all else.
When I speak, every word will be ripped apart
in the search for the meek idiocy that has been
the stereotype of the rabbit SCAB since the first
one appeared. And the rabbits have been letting
themselves be treated this way. Some, certainly,
are not as humanly communicative as they were.
There are those who, as with any other SCABS type,
have become almost fully the creature set forth by
the virus. Why this is may not be what everyone
thinks. The "truth" of the rabbit is, they
immediately suppose, fear. And fear reaches back
to the horror of seeing the daily suffering of
loved ones, of being cared for like an animal they
are not yet used to including in their
fundamentally changed world.
So they go all the way, purposely, whether
this purpose be conscious or not. For rabbits are
highly intelligent. They know full well what is
going on around them, are inquisitive... They
check things out, and they realize, if they were
human, _I was human_. And the overwhelming
implications of it all can drive them into
themselves where they will be even less
intelligently behaved than a normal rabbit, for
they believe that a rabbit is a blank, an empty, a
frightened creature.
It is not only rabbits who do this. No, all
SCABS may, for with the awakening in the new
body comes the identification of choices. Do I go
home, attempting in some way to pick up where I
left off? Do I, like Tom, take this as an excuse
for pent-up anger to be loosed upon a sometimes
pitying public? Or do I, as have so many
"mindless" people, _choose_ the knowledge that, as
an animal, I can be cared for by professionals,
allowing myself to relax into a forgetful haze?
I, of course, chose to go home. If my paws
had not had thumbs, I would have thought of
something. But it is understandable that other
SCABS might not have the desire, the strength or
the presence of mind to decide to go home.
In some cases, they have no choice. They are
whisked away to a government SCABS catchall and
treated like dirt. Even _humans_ withdraw in
situations like these. And the rabbits... Well,
the rabbits have been told that their poor little
hearts and minds can barely take the outside
world. They begin to believe it. They begin to
think they haven't a tough bone left in their
bodies.
Well, I'll tell you something... I read and
heard some about what went on before Manuel
Murdoch committed suicide. And so help me, those
government officials deserve to get tied up in
some tangly attempts at manslaughter charges, if
not in some tangles with fighting-mad rabbits.
After all, being newly signed as responsible for
him, the officials were at the least criminally
negligent in allowing that young man access to his
own death. But the truth is, rabbits, even Mr.
Geusz, are buying into a fear that has become a
slogan for the macho anti-SCABS. Be scared,
bunnies, they say, be very scared. And so the
bunnies are, even to the point of denying the
instincts that truly do manifest themselves. Why,
that man scent-marked Manuel Murdoch's entire
hospital room. What does he think, that rabbits
are all cuddly and friendly and, as I said, don't
have a mean bone in their bodies? It's amazing
how well Manuel responded, considering the fierce
territoriality of us rabbits. It's astounding
that he wasn't terrified of the person who would
be his benefactor. It seems to be somewhat
despite, and somewhat because of his fellow
rabbit's treatment that Manuel Murdoch became the
relatively healthy young man he was-- until his
suicide, very nearly the closest thing to a heroic
suicide I have seen in the news for some time.
Oh Man, if you would share peace with the
Rabbit, do not trap nor anger him. Do we hate the
feeling of suffocation. I like a comfortable,
small bedroom as well as the next lapine, but it
is as Susan tells us time and again; we are not
out in the wild, where we might have the time and
the space to escape each other or any other threat
that might set us off. No, we are, as SCABS, part
of a human society, and as we _are_ humans that is
as it _should_ be. But so many of the lapines
have given into the meekness that leads to despair
rather than virtue, and so many more have
succumbed to the pressures of colony "information"
about rabbits, that there are few people even
willing to consider the truth of our form.
Susan has been outspoken on the horrid
unfairness of the very idea of the colonies, for,
as she emphasizes time and again, the SCABS
affected with American cottontail forms are housed
with and exactly as those who are the emboldened,
manmade European domestic rabbits. It is cruelty
to humans, she says. Cruelty to humans based on
severe neglect of their specific needs.
Father William, from the Catholic church I
attend here in the City, agrees. "The soul of the
man is in the lapine," he insists, as often as
anyone will ask, "or in whatever form the virus
has made the person take. Are we to befriend and
bless those with a progressive disease of any
kind, yet assume that the person afflicted with
SCABS is no better than an animal?
"And at that, what of the animals themselves?
They are thought entitled to better treatment than
our own friends and neighbors have received at the
hands of these holding areas.
"I cannot condone any such treatment of
SCABS. I stand firmly behind any peaceful attempt
of the SCABS Pride groups to influence the
government to more humane and Christian
procedures."
That, unflinchingly, from a man who is the
sole pastor of a rather out-of-the-way church in
this area of the City. He has ever had my
respect, and following my SCABS I clung to his
calm words... One night, following choir
rehearsal, a Humans First group arrived with-- you
want primitive-- _torches_ outside the rectory. I
was there, emerging from the rehearsal with two of
my dog friends, and I led the counterattack. We
managed to lower their morale considerably without
actually killing anyone, and since then the
gratitude and protection between our group and
Father William has gone both ways, although he has
gently suggested that we might try a more
_peaceful_ approach next time.
And there will be a next time. Tonight,
even, if we are unlucky or if the wrong word hits
the wrong nerve in the wrong person. On a typical
meeting night there might be five to twelve of us
in this hall. Tonight the place is full of forty
or fifty people already, and still they trickle
in. Some seem to be looking for signs of weakness
or fear, but as yet we have not given them any.
We won't either-- not those of us who meet here
regularly, anyway. This is _our_ territory.
It is as well that Tom Henway went to see if
Mr. Geusz wants to talk and learn about the
outrage his young friend's death has brought about
in this community. Tom is better at that sort of
thing-- I might have made the poor fellow submit
before speaking with him, although my version of
domination generally involves a little staring
down before relaxing, and nothing too antisocial.
I am sure Mr. Geusz knows full well the impact of
what has gone on, but the personal impact upon him
must certainly overshadow that tremendously. Most
likely, Tom will just offer his sympathies and
then return to include his words in our side of
the argument here. Mr. Geusz has lost a friend,
and at the same time we have gained an ally, in
the very same person. Dead, Manuel Murdoch is as
immensely powerful as any of us standing here
preparing to use our voices.
Still, the wrenching sensation in my gut when
I think of the grieving rabbit has not subsided
since seeing the photo of Manuel's body. Yes, Mr.
Geusz has furthered the misconception of the
rabbit. But he brought us all a friend we never
met. Perhaps Manuel will change things, even for
the man who now mourns him so deeply.
Perhaps _I_ will change things.
My companions seem to think it is a very real
possibility.
The air and my vocal organs ready themselves,
and tonight it _counts_. Times like this bring
forth surging images and stories of all the
rabbits Susan and others like her have known. A
simple one flashes through my mind, and my long
ears prick forward as though I can see him...
A small rabbit, loping unconcernedly across a
lawn, nibbling a bit of grass here and there, a
huge dog following at a matching pace. The dog
noses the rabbit. The rabbit turns instantly and,
much to the dog's dismay, swipes it a swift blow
across the nose with a front claw...
The rabbit continues its ambling, the dog
recovers and does the same, and the pattern
repeats itself.
Over and over, never afraid, never in the
least ruffled, the rabbit swats the intruding dog
with a claw and then goes about its life. Over
and over. Which is more stubborn? I suppose it
depends, in the end, whether the dog learns to
stop out of boredom or whether a respect is formed
when the rabbit finally gives him one good, raking
clawmark that he won't forget.
My own dogmorph friends have seen me fight.
Well, they're going to see me do it again. The
scents of the comradely, the angry and the
indifferent meld in my nostrils as I begin to
speak.
"Ladies and gentlemen..."