by Bill Keiffer |
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-= the ride =-
The clock in the lobby was stuck for a short while at 1:15.
The janitor who fixed it, was the only person to take note of
the situation. While the clock was repaired before any one could
use it as an excuse for getting back from lunch late, the wrong
time was noted by Helen Brewer and that, in an odd, roundabout
way, affected history.
Helen was getting a late start on lunch and she was surprised
to see it was only 1:15. It sure felt like more than fifteen minutes
past her scheduled lunch break. She was annoyed and flustered,
her abs twitching sadistically. PMS, of course, meant that her
husband, Jason, would be devastated to learn she was not pregnant
yet. She wasn't too thrilled over this news either; despite her
protestations to the contrary, she was beginning to hear her own
biological clock ticking.
It was a rather disturbing sensation.
Little Blue had just come back from lunch, but the churning
in his stomach that started at a few minutes past two, was enough
to send him packing. He bid his manager adieu, invoked the name
of the HR director, and made a bee-line for the elevator.
Little Blue was neither little nor blue. In point of fact, no
one called or thought of him as Little Blue, except Little Blue
and his online Mommy. He loved his Mommy very much and she was
the only thing that kept him sane. He knew when he finally met
his Mommy in real life, he was going to crawl into a little ball
on her lap and cry for hours.
In the elevator, he nodded to Helen without really seeing her.
She nodded to him without really seeing him. The old decrepit
elevator closed its doors and these two people had a series of
remarkably similar thoughts before all hell broke loose.
Helen thought she'd make a great mother. Little Blue thought
Helen would be a good Mommy.
Helen pictured herself breast-feeding her future child. Little
Blue pictured himself suckling from a giant version of Helen.
At a sudden, angry tug of her abdomen muscles, Helen worried
that her pad might not be absorbent enough. She wondered miserably
if she had extra pads in her desk, otherwise something very embarrassing
might happen. A sudden, tight pressure on his bladder alerted
Little Blue to the very real possibility that his adult diaper
might not be up to the job. Hopefully, he'd make it to his car
before anything embarrassing happened.
Then the dam burst and Little Blue felt as if his whole body
was being juiced for pee-pee by some angry god. He screamed and
his bowels screamed huge writhing bolts of white electric energy.
The elevator stopped and rocked violently between floors and Helen
was thrown against the back wall as Little Blue continued to scream
and wail.
Helen's mind turned away and recalled the time she'd gotten
too close to fireworks as a child. That was a more bearable horror
then watching Little Blue's ugly adult body burn away into nothingness.
The smoldering clothes of Little Blue fell into a pile on the
floor between Helen's legs.
The building was old. Broken elevators were nothing new, but
they were a fresh dotcom, a new start-up and sacrifices had to
be made. It was a very exciting place to be, it was the cutting
edge, and clunky, undependable elevators from just about the turn
of the century were a part of the charm of working for this company.
Eventually, something in the elevator worked itself free and
the elevator went to the basement and opened its doors smoothly,
as if the ride had been perfectly normal. Helen's foot slid forward.
The doors tried to close repeatedly over the next ten minutes,
but the foot mocked their efforts.
When the other janitor, the one who hadn't fixed the clock,
found Helen lying there in her charred clothing he immediately
called 911. The scene spoke of rape to him and it frightened him,
as the only black man in the building, he was certain he was going
to blamed for something horrible one of these days. This... looked
pretty horrible.
He checked her pulse and tried not to touch anything. She was
exposed, her thighs a bright red, as if burned by whatever had
done this. He wanted to cover her, but he knew the importance
of preserving the crime scene. Instead, he committed everything
to memory, the blood between her legs, the torn and burned panties,
and every piece of litter in the elevator that might be a clue.
Only then did he very carefully use his key to turn off the
elevator and keep the doors from closing. To his immense relief,
he left no finger prints on the crime scene.
Little Blue knew nothing of this. He only knew his Mommy had
finally come for him and he yawned his tiny little mouth in the
fluid of his Mommy's womb and concentrated on getting his tiny
little hand to his tiny little mouth to suck on his tiny little
thumb. It had been a very hard day and he was exhausted. "I love
you, Mommy," he silently told his warm, moist universe and dreamed
of the love he knew she felt for him and him alone.
-= flat cat =-
Jeff coloured in the anthropomorphic fox he was working on with
what he hoped was the right shade of blue when he let out the
world's largest belch. It was a rather impressive example of gas
release and he wished he had had some warning to tape it. He knew
some furs online who would love to hear Airborne letting loose
some gas.
Five minutes later, after letting loose two more equally long,
and somehow grosser, explosions, Jeff went to his computer, leaving
his sketch pad and CNN on in the living room ducked into the computer
room and recorded his next few belches. He was feeling a bit bloated,
but otherwise he felt ok.
Had he stayed in the living room a bit longer, he might have
worried more. CNN broke the news of a bear running wild in Cupertino,
CA and then helicopter images of a giant centaur-skunk thing racing
a bus along a California Interstate. Friends tried to IM him,
to share with him rumors of Furry critters finally walking the
Earth, but Jeff had completely turned off the program, as his
alter-ego had over two dozen commissions to complete before the
convention. Instead, Jeff belched until he was light headed and
his throat roar.
He chuckled, wondering what his co-workers would think of him,
if they had seen him belching away like an idiot. Jeff enjoyed
his quiet reputation immensely and he got a chuckle passing as
a mundane.
Well, not Jeff, exactly: Airborne got a laugh out of it. Jeff
was just a support system for Airborne and had no feelings or
opinions of his own. Jeff Bakke just existed until the universe
was ready to behave properly. Airborne knew these were not normal
beliefs, so he hid himself deep within Jeff, waiting. Waiting
and laughing at the world while Airborne and his mates designed
the future to suit their needs.
Airborne almost fell on his face, as he got out of the computer
chair. His legs felt all rubbery so maybe it was time to lay down
for awhile. It was 4:00 and he was not sure when he had eaten
last. A grilled cheese sandwich around noon that had tasted like
plastic (not that that was a bad thing), if he recalled correctly.
Odd, that that had given him so much gas, he thought as he reclined
on the couch.
He felt all hollow inside. Not hungry. Just empty.
I better not be coming down with the flu while I'm on vacation,
he thought. Further Confusion was in just a few days and he was
looking forward to meeting many of his various friends. He was
an artist and putting faces to names were really important to
him. Like Richard Reid, who was rightfully expecting a commissioned
portrait of his character, Katra, at the con. A portrait Jeff
had not started to even sketch yet.
It was kind of gray and overcast outside and the TV featured
an apparently computer-generated lizard man talking to an interviewer.
Neither interested Jeff very much, although he was annoyed the
cats had stepped on the remote and changed the channel again.
The remote was their new toy, apparently. He suspected his brother
had stopped by and dipped the remote in cat nip while he'd been
at work. He turned off the television and snoozed until his cat
sat on his chest.
Jeff got up, the silliness of being Airborne forgotten as his
knees shook like limp rubber bands under him. He stripped to take
a shower, but decided that he didn't want to pass out in the shower.
Food. Fuel. He should eat something instead. He'd no doubt feel
better with something inside of him.
He sucked up some aerosol cheese in a can and was suddenly inspired
by an image of Airborne confusing fix-a-flat for the can o'cheese.
That made him feel better, until he remembered the dozens of commissions
he had promised people. He wasn't going to be able to enjoy the
con if he spent all weekend hiding in his room, trying to finish
sketches.
He flopped back on the couch and he sighed.
He didn't stop sighing for ten minutes. To his horror, he could
not stop. The air continued to leak out of him at a steady, unbelievable
rate and he was helpless to stop it. His skin turned purple and
black stripes appeared. He tried to yell for help, but all he
could manage were a few strained stage whispers until finally
the room spun too many times and he passed out.
His body continued to ignore the laws of physics as it hollowed
out, bones vanished, and eyes became flat, almost blind things
that stared cartoon-like up at the ceiling. At this point his
mouth sealed up and the air continued to leak out of what was
once his penis and was now some sort of organic valve.
Then with almost all the air out of the hollow chambers of his
body, muscles lining the skin bag that was now his body began
to pull themselves together. Airborne's body was cold and like
a giant scrotum, it began to contract in on itself to conserve
its heat. This also served to squeeze out the last of the fetid
air from within the living balloon.
Airborne folded into a nice neat rectangle, his purple and black
body looking like a wrinkled leather bundle almost exactly one
foot wide by two feet long. In fact, this varied from his FurryMuck
form only in thickness. The virtual Airborne was less than three
inches thick when dormant, but the virtual Airborne was made of
vinyl latex. The real Airborne had to be made up out of flesh
and blood. Six and a half inches thick was the best the power
could do and still leave Airborne alive.
Of course, Airborne could hardly be expected to survive forever,
folded up and hibernating, but forever had not been in the specs.
Time and consequence were irrelevant to the power. The power simply
was.
And then was no more.
Predictably, one of Jeff's cats decided he'd make a good bed
and went to sleep on his flattened and warm master. To the cat's
delight, his master did not dislodge him. A slow and shallow heartbeat
soon lulled the cat to a light sleep.
-= hope =-
Denny Muren was perhaps one of the unluckiest gay men in Manhattan.
He knew that was just the depression talking, really, but it sure
felt true. Lots of things had really worked out well for him in
the beginning. Right after graduating from the School of Visual
Arts in 1994, Denny was picked up by MTV news as a production
assistant and now he was one of four rotating Key Grips. While
it was a far cry from the set designer he had once hoped to be,
he found the job of planning and coordinating sets, location shoots,
equipment, and his seven (on the average) man crew of grips to
be very rewarding. He wasn't sure if he'd give up the 12-hour
days and stale doughnuts for all the glory and money of set designer.
Of course, those same 12-hour days were killing him. Twice already
this week he'd almost failed to take his AZT cocktail on time.
The anti-depressants had killed his sex drive -- not that there
was anyone waiting for him at home any more -- and his concentration
was shot. Soon, the mistakes would begin to pile up and his grips
would not be able to cover for him. Worrying about it just made
it worse, but Denny could not help himself.
Lesions could be covered by pancake, but mistakes were harder
to hide and video did not lie.
Things went crazy around six the day Reality started openly
changing the rules. Right below the studio were they were setting
up for the Tom Green show, perhaps the oddest man in the world
Denny was ever going to meet, stopped traffic and announced he'd
been car jacked by something not human.
The thing was, the man was not human himself. Standing in a
black, sleeveless cloak and a red Def-Tones t-shirt, supple lips
and flexing nostrils of an equine shouting orders to the stunned
police men, the creature seemed too surrealistic to take seriously
apparently. It wasn't until the horse-faced man was thrown into
the building by an unseen force, that the off-duty policemen hired
by MTV to handle crowd control went into action.
Everyone with a camera and a microphone, staff and independent,
rushed down to get a shot of the creature, real or not, costume
or not. When news happened on your doorstep, you didn't waste
a chance to be first. No one wanted to be scooped in front of
their own building. Only Jerry Willoughby had the foresight to
grab a steady-cam operator and a well dressed intern and cut through
the basement to a little-used service entrance. The wires had
been churning out story after story of incredible sightings all
day, but New Yorkers were much more jaded than the rest of the
country. If it didn't happen in Manhattan, it was kind of hard
to believe it was happening at all.
The trio had popped out just inches away from the weird, black
man. Later, Lance Strunk, the cam operator, said it was like being
in Nam and coming up out of the bush to find yourself face to
face with Charlie. Not that Lance was old enough to have been
in the Vietnam war, but everyone who met the horse-man calling
himself Grey understood completely.
He looked like a horse from the neck up, but the key word was
like. The nose and the teeth seemed dead on, but the muzzle was shorter
than any real horse's. With the exception of his short, kinky
mohawk and his eye lashes, he was totally hairless. The solid
black eyes were mostly forward mounted, not much bigger than a
normal set of eyes, and when the light hit them just right, a
rather creepy shade of red floated in the middle of each eye as
if something smoldered deep inside it.
His name was Grey Van Maulkin (the Official Mutant of the Garden
State, as he quipped to Jerry). Denny got a good look at him as
the key grip frantically tried to set up the gobos in such a way
that the red in Grey's eyes either vanished altogether or was
in both eyes at the same time. Grey compounded the problem by
looking about the studio, as if waiting for something to jump
out at him.
Perhaps they were. Fox was reporting the lizard man they had
an exclusive interview with had been taken into custody by the
FBI on a trumped up charge.
Grey claimed to be as human as any of them and an American,
to boot, despite his lilting, hard to place accent. His deep voice
vibrated with a unique nasal timbre thanks to the sinus cavity
of his muzzle and Jerry thought he sounded a bit like James Earl
Jones doing a Mr. Ed impersonation. Only two of the grips had
agreed to be in the same room as Grey and his voice seemed to
calm and comfort them as easily as his appearance had disturbed
the rest of his crew.
"What if he's contagious?" more than one person had asked.
What if? What if? If the transfiguration was contagious, then
Jerry would be the first to know. Jerry had actually touched the
very civil monster, as had a cop who instinctively rushed to the
aid of the fallen horse-man. And, what about those of use with
abnormal immune systems? What would happen to someone like that?
Instead of stepping back, Denny had stepped forward and pushed
his sleeves up.
What if he became a horse? He'd never heard of a horse coming
down with AIDS. He very much doubted any one had.
What if? What if? Would it really be that bad?
Kurt Loder came in and shook Grey's hands, although he did so
wearing a set of rubber medical gloves. They showed a clip of
Grey holding up a series of handwritten notes. "Find the subscribers."
"Save Them." "Protect the Herd."
Kurt asked about the subscribers and the herd Grey had been
referring to. Grey explained about the TSA and its mailing list,
and how this form was the perfect form for him, an expression
of his true self really, the physical icon of his soul. All this
Denny only half heard. His minds was on much more practical matters,
like keeping the cables clear and tangle free and what if? What
if? What if there really was a list one could just sign up for
to get the perfect body? And what did the invisible man have to
do with this? Jerry and Grey had gotten Kurt to agree not to ask
about the invisible man so as not to cause a panic.
How strong did one have to be to throw a 275 pound man in a
15 foot high arc and into the side of a building? Was invisibility
even possible? A part of Denny wanted Kurt to call Grey a liar,
but how could he when the horse man sat there, letting a camera
man film the very organic inside of his mouth to prove it was
no mask?
Sherlock Holmes would go crazy. In a world where the impossible
could not be ruled out, how was one to make sense out of anything?
"It's a matter of faith, really," Grey said to Kurt. "If nothing
else, I am a hand-picked agent of change."
"Do you think that you were chosen by God?"
"What makes you think there's only one God, anymore?" Then he
smiled, or Denny thought he might be smiling. It was hard to tell,
only the eyes seemed really expressive. "I don't care if you call
it God, Yahwah, or the Fickle Finger of Fate; the real Millennium starts today. Things have changed, people have changed,
but I still have my faith in humanity. Bluenight was worried we'd
be declared non-human and then they arrested him. Read him his
rights and hauled them away, and that should settle his concerns...
the United States does not arrest animals. No declaration was
needed."
Kurt laughed at that, but it was a very polite laugh. They talked
some more, but Denny was too busy doing the work of three men
to really listen. He would joke later that it was three union
men, so it wasn't that bad, but it was very hectic and at one
point he slipped and hurt himself.
And he bled.
He tried not to panic; it was only a trickle of blood, but he
was contagious. He was HIV positive and if it the doctor hadn't
declared him as having full-blown AIDS yet, it was only because
he was avoiding the doctors.
The interview was over and Denny was using gaffer's tape to
bandage his hand when suddenly he smelled a strong cologne of
sandalwood, lemon grass, and a spicy musk he couldn't place. He
turned to discover Grey standing over him, his nostrils flaring.
"I don't like blood play," the horse man said as Jerry ran over
to his side.
"What?" Denny asked, startled and taking a step back. Then his
eyes fell on Jerry and he suffered another shock. Jerry was not shorter than he was. Jerry wore concealing make-up, too, for
his face had been breaking out constantly, supposedly with pimples,
although Denny strongly suspected the contracted producer was
gay, too, or at least bisexual.
Jerry was shorter by an inch and his face positively glowed
with youthful energy. Like many people at MTV, Jerry was younger
than most in his position at other companies. Unless you looked
closely at him, Jerry Willoughby looked about 16 or 17 instead
of being twice that old.
But Denny was looking closely and all he saw was a teenager
looking back. He dropped the gaffer tape and Grey picked up his
taped hand. "Jerry and I would like to ask you to volunteer for
an experiment."
Denny tried to think quickly. It was experimentation that had
exposed him to AIDS. Just once. Just once and that's all it took.
He wasn't sure if he was ready to experiment with a horse man
and a little self-absorbed prick that looked fresh out of high
school. "What?" he asked, unable to form more of a sentence than
that.
Grey and Jerry seemed to understand. "Do you have email?" Jerry
asked, to which Denny could only nod. Barry had left the HP tower
behind.
"I'm still changing," Grey said as the wad of cloth dissolved
beneath his fingers. Then the blood fell away like so much dust.
Denny pulled his hand back and stared at the tear. The bleeding
had stopped, but it was still red and ugly, an open wound. The
plastic coated tape fell away, too, the glue having mysteriously
vanished. "Sooner or later, I'll stop. Sooner or later, the Feds
will shut off Dragon's server, or it will crash. Probably sooner.
For all I know, Dragon may accidentally step on it. I have no
idea how big he'll be." Then he leaned forward and pulled at Denny's
arm and tried to lick the wound.
"Don't! I'm HIV positive!" There. He said and his words echoed
heavily about the room, drawing the walls closer to him.
"We know, Denny, we've known for awhile." Jerry smiled and he
inhaled deeply and two small mounds of flesh pushed against the
producer's black, unisex T-shirt. "That's why we're asking you
to subscribe to the list."
"You can be what you've always dreamed of being, disease free."
Grey spread his large spidery hands and indicated the laptop a
PA just ran and gave Jerry. "I don't know what will happen when
the server goes down... and it will... but what if... what if
this was your chance to get rid of AIDS? What if this was your
chance to spread your wings and really fly?"
What if? What if? What if?
Jerry brought the Internet up and Grey typed in the URL. The
site was amazingly slow due to the large number of hits it was
getting, but eventually Denny found himself looking at the stark
white form of the TSA-Talk info page. He entered his email and
then he picked a password...
.whatif
...and he hit SUBSCRIBE.
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