Welcome to this, the second episode of SurviFur. Before we begin:
Remember that it's up to you -- the viewer -- to vote for which
tribe most deserves to win. You must think about their cleverness,
and how much they have entertained you. You can vote either by
e-mail at austinslysquirrel@yahoo.com or at our web site. Vote at any time while you watch what happened
in BioSphere's very own Manhattan!
The camera fades and shows the activities and fall of the various
tribes.
SurviFur SurviFur SurviFur SurviFur SurviFur
"Okay, here we are again. Welcome to all remaining SurviFur
tribes! The game has barely started, but as you have just seen,
already eight, count 'em eight, SurviFurs... are gone! Four are now raccoons --" Sly pauses for a moment and hums the
first few notes of the Raccoon Song,"-- and the other four have
found gainful employment in Manhattan, dutifully helping the inhabitants
of Manhattan enjoy their sinful pleasures as vixens. That's right;
all four of them have been vixenated. They tried putting their
lives, indeed, their very humanity on the line for the sake of
five million dollars.
"And they lost.
"Yes, welcome once again to the second Tribal Council. I am
Sly Squirrel, Tribal Master, and you are the twenty SurviFurs,
any of whom can still win the five million dollars -- or lose their
human lives."
Sly turns to the camera and winks. "Welcome once again to the
new SurviFur, brought to you tonight by the Church of Apple Computer.
Apple cheerfully accepts all donations, which are tax-deductible. Tonight's words of wisdom from Apple's High Epopt,
the Ascended One, Steve Jobs: 'Rejoice, brethern, for Bill Gates
is burning in Hell!' And for the benefit of those tuning in for
the first time tonight, I'll just repeat the rules that these
20 SurviFurs have agreed to in their quest for a transformation
of their choice and the substantial cash prize. The object of
this game is to be the only anthropomorphic SurviFur able to come
to tribal council. Last one able to arrive at the council with
a fraction of their humanity left wins the game and the lucrative
cash pot of five million dollars! All cash prizes paid out in interest-free monthly installments
over a 10-year period. Financing by Rothschild of Luxembourg Ltd,
with legal assistance from the still fully human lawyers of Philips,
Moore, Lempio and Finley."
Sly, still smiling his ten-million dollar smile, leaned over
the unfeasibly large bonfire (which still had no place burning
in a deciduous forest), waiting for the cameras to finish their
slow pan across the bleachers, getting fine, clear images of the
remaining 20 people who would be competing this season. Whereas
they had been mostly human last night, now they were a mixture,
ranging from a lion-taur to a cheetah to a tiger to a fox to a
squirrel and even a rabbit.
"Yes, you have all indeed learned that the traps are as real
and as deadly as we told you. And some of you have even learned
how to make use of them! Now, I know that you're all waiting for
the results of the votes cast in the last hour, waiting to see
who is the choice of our viewers for the best SurviFur tribe!
But first... I'd like to ask some questions, to help our audience
get more familiar with you."
Amidst groans from some of the participants, Sly just grinned,
fluffled his tail, and walked over to where Harlem was seated.
Although all were more or less anthropomorphic, one was a lion-taur
or centauroid lion, one was a tiger with a rat's tail, one was
somewhat a black panther, and the last one was every inch a vixen,
in more than one sense of the word. "So members of Harlem, I see
that you had fun last night."
Norman, the panther, just growled.
"But it was successful. Michael, did you know that the tribe
you saw vixenated was actually Bushwick tribe?"
"Dear me, no. They told us that they were Brooklyn. Do you
mean that they weren't?" The fox vixen leaned against him and
started petting his back and the liontaur visibly shuddered, reflexively
emitting a rumbling sound.
"They must have lied -- and I can't tell you how shocked I
am to learn that members of one SurviFur tribe might sink so low
as to deceive another. Tch, tch, tch. By the way, did you have fun vixenating
them?"
Michael just blinked his eyes as the vixen clasped his hand
to comfort him. "Mmmm... Us? Oh, no. Poor chaps, if what you say
is true. There was a bar fight, and we managed to leave before
it got too ugly. I really don't know what happened to them, in
fact none of us do."
Sly just nodded his head and moved over to his next victim,
Utopia. "So Richard, did you have fun last night? I think you
met Harlem, didn't you?"
"We did. They seemed like nice people too, although none of
them looked like they do now. They must have gotten it bad."
"And I see that you had a quiet night. It was just you and Colby
together while Tina and Sue went off on their own. But didn't
you talk to Sue later?"
Oblivious to Sue's glare, Richard just continued, "Of course,
I just said good night."
Sly chuckled. "Yes, I see that we have a really friendly group
here." And then he moved over to the Melrose tribe, one of whom
displayed a few hints of cheetah qualities, while the other three
were still entirely human. "So Orr, did you have any problems
last night -- any bug problems per se. The BioSphere is fully populated with insect pollinators as required,
and all supplied by Bugs R' Us, suppliers of pollinators to the
farmers of America for over ten years."
It was Linda who answered him, "No, no problems at all. We
were just annoyed by their high pitched buzzing, but that quickly
went away."
"And you aren't trying to share them with the other tribes
in the least?"
Maxx glared but Orr replied in a calm voice, "No, not at all."
"Yes, we've definitely got a friendly, friendly bunch this
season!" And then with a hop and a flourish he was in front of
another group, this time all human except for a woman whose face
looked like it had been stolen from a raccoon. Sly addressed her
first: "So Angel, did you like the path you took? It was very
handy for your whole tribe wasn't it?"
"Fuck, I made one little mistake, but it's been dealt with."
"And the rest of you made good use of the darts, I hear. Called
Brooklyn for help and gave it all to them." Sly shook his head.
"Well, all's fair in love and war!"
Sly turned and made his way over to the last group, who were
still 100% human. "And finally we have the Bronx tribe. You had
a nice quiet night too, I hear."
"Of course." It was Greg who answered.
"You didn't have any trouble dealing with your bug problem
then? And did you find out anything useful with your equipment
about it?"
Amaya leapt in, "Yes, we know all about the bug, and who sent
it Orr!" She turned and looked pointedly towards the Melrose tribe.
"Yes, a happy little group we have here, but then that's what
we want to watch." Sly turned back to face the camera and smiled
his ten-million dollar smile. "Conflict and war -- already two
tribes have been eliminated, and the hatred is flying high!" Sly
spun around with his tail high and faced the 20 remaining SurviFurs.
"But now, the moment you've all been waiting for, the tallying
of the votes submitted by the viewers, to determine which is tonight's
winner, and who... is not. The winning tribe will recieve a certificate
good for eliminating a total of 40% transformation, divided up
among its members however they choose; the remaining tribes must
each allow one of their members to lose 25% of their humanity.
"Unfortunately, out of 80,900,000 viewers, only 1,300,000 actually
cast votes. It's kind of strange, but for some reason, the nearly
80 million viewers who *didn't* vote seem to be experiencing a
major outbreak of transformations; so far the changes appear to
be cosmetic, patches of fur and feathers and so on. I'm told the
FBI is investigating, and we'll keep you posted as to further
developments.
"At any rate, tonight's votes have already been counted, but
if you tune in two days from now, you'll get another chance to
vote! Remember that your vote does count!
"But for now, let's go on to specifics. We're not going to
hand-count all 1,300,000 votes, and in fact only three computers
-- iMacs provided by Apple and running OS XV -- know how many
votes have been cast, and for which tribe. Not even I know the
results! For simplicity, we're going to count every 100,000 votes
as one, since an exact multiple of 100,000 viewers voted. And
yes, this does mean that every single vote did indeed count. All of the votes have been placed in the jar
you see..." the camera switched to show a brushed aluminum jar
twinkling in the light of the bonfire opposite the tribes "...and
now I will count them."
Upon saying this Sly scurried over to the jar and picked it
up. "This jar was created by the wizardly artisans of Alcoa --
'we control all aluminum, everywhere, so pay our price!' -- and is worth nearly
one million dollars at today's value. And now, without any further
ado... the votes!" Sly carefully unscrewed the lid and let it
fall to the ground with a low thud, then turned to face the gathered
tribes. He stuck his hand in and pulled out a computer-printed
slip of paper and read from it: "The first vote is for Queens!
That's 1 for Queens, and zero for everybody else."
And then Sly continued, calling out the score: "The second
vote is for the Bronx. 1 for the Bronx, 1 for Queens. Third vote
is for the Bronx again. 2 for the Bronx, 1 for Queens. Fourth
vote is for, again, the Bronx! Bronx is in the lead, by a 3-to-1
margin over Queens."
He paused for a second and ruffled around before drawing another
vote, "Fifth vote is for Harlem. 3 for the Bronx, 1 each for Queens
and Harlem. Sixth vote is also for Harlem; the Bronx is still
winning. Seventh vote is for Queens. Queens and Harlem now have
2 apiece, but the Bronx is still winning with 3. Eighth vote is
for Queens. Queens and the Bronx are now tied at 3, Harlem behind
at 2. Ninth vote is for Harlem. Harlem, Queens and the Bronx are
now all tied. Tenth vote is for Queens, so Queens is now in the
lead with 4. Eleventh vote is for Harlem. Harlem and Queens are
now tied with 4, and the Bronx is now trailing with 3."
"Remember, if there is a tie, then both tribes avoid their risk
of punishment. Maybe we'll see it tonight. We'll know shortly!"
Again Sly ruffled around and slowly drew another vote. "Twelfth
vote is for Harlem. Yes, Harlem is now in the lead by one vote,
with one vote left to count. Queens can still tie. Now the thirteenth
vote, the last vote. Let's see, I can read it... it's for... Harlem!"
Canned cheers and claps, and a few boos and hisses, pour through
the clearing.
"That's right, it's Harlem. Harlem wins with 6 votes to Queens'
4, the Bronx's 3, and none for the others."
Slowly Sly leaned over and re-sealed the jar. Next, he took
off his hat, and removed a piece of parchment from inside it.
"Well done, Harlem! And here's your reward: A certificate for
40% restoration of humanity. It's good until the next tribal council,
so you'd better use it fast! Again, well done, and it'll be interesting
to see whether you can manage to stay on top in future!"
That task done, the squirrel slowly turned around and revealed
himself to be holding a dart gun. "And now... it's time for those
who failed to catch the imagination of the viewers to take their
medicine. As in previous seasons, the way this works is that each
tribe that fell behind in the votes has a choice: Either they
can volunteer to have the whole tribe attempt a punishment task,
one that's chock-full of Mutopia traps, or they agree to let one
of their members lose 25% of their humanity. The not-so-lucky
tribe member is chosen at random; their transformation is likewise
purely a matter of chance. The random number generator in my dart
gun will select the results of the 25% transformation." He faced
the camera: " In addition, the dart is propelled by complex electro-magnetic
fields and will select a victim at random. So, let's get to our
first victim!"
Canned cheers play, making a lot of the competitors look uncomfortable.
"And don't forget that the chip is manufactured by AMD -- 'we
already ate Intel's lunch, why not Motorola and IBM now?' So let's
get started, and let's do it alphabetically. First... the Bronx."
Slowly and carefully, with a taped indraw of breath, Sly aimed
and fired. It took a moment before the effects of the dart became
apparent and the camera focussed in on Jia as his skin started
to ripple. It started on his chest and then switched to his right
arm which the camera slowly focused on. Slowly the arm stretched
while the fingers shrunk. Then the sleeve of the shirt slowly
dissolved, and the skin begin to form pinpricks that grew into
goosebumps, and then burst open to reveal feathers that grew longer
and longer. Slowly the camera panned back to show that Jia's right
arm was now a single massive wing, five feet long, and covered
in brown and beige pattered feathers. It could now be seen that
his chest was also distorted; his breastbone had greatly expanded,
thickening like the keel of a ship and extending down towards
his navel, with newly-formed muscles anchoring the wing to it.
The camera switched to show Sly. "And next we turn to... Melrose!
The chip thinks and..." The camera changed to show the Melrose
tribe and like before for a moment there was nothing and then
Maxx suddenly turned and stared at his left leg and the camera
turned to follow his view. Again the material of his pants slowly
disappeared as the nanites consumed the material, and again the
leg prickled and then burst, but this time it wasn't feathers
but fur. Thin golden fur appeared and, as the camera tilted down,
Maxx's shoe vanished; his ankle bent; and his leg deformed into
a mountain lion's hind limb, complete with fur and claws. The
length appeared to be the same as his normal leg so he could still
walk easily, although his gait would be unusual.
Back to Sly. "Only two more. And now it's time for... Queens!"
The camera switched its view and for a moment nothing and then
it focused on Bob. He stood partially up, and then slammed down
onto the bench and stared at his legs as the camera followed.
Again his pants changed, transforming into shorts, so that the
camera could focus on his legs as they thickened and shortened
massively, gradually turning into the short stubby legs of a black
bear, although they still ended with human feet.
Once again Sly. "And finally we have Utopia!" Again the view
switched and this time it was Tina who suddenly noticed the changes.
She opened her mouth to scream but all that came out was a neigh
as her head stretched into the snout of a wild mustang and grew
a covering of tan fur. Her ears moved up onto the top of her head
and grew pointed as her hair became a thick black mane that cascaded
down her back. All she could whisper was "No..." which ended with
a soft nicker.
And then the camera focussed back onto Sly. "Well, it's getting
late and we're almost finished! Now I have to tell you of the
next SurviFur challenge. This time it's a little different; this
time it's a Scavenger Hunt. Tomorrow night we're burying a whole
bunch of prizes and traps in a pine forest somewhere in the BioSphere.
Any tribe who tries to interfere will get darted, and trust me
when I say their changes won't stop at 25%! The morning after,
you can all go searching for the goodies we've buried. You must
find the good stuff, avoid the bad, and beware your fellow tribes.
Don't forget that two tribes have already been eliminated!
"And what the heck, since I'm a nice squirrel, each surviving
tribe will be given its $200 allowance, and a metal detector to
help them find the goods! As usual, a single squirrel will gather
you up at dawn so that the hunt can begin. Good luck SurviFurs,
and tune in two nights from now to see the results of the SurviFur
Scavenger Hunt. And don't forget to transmit your votes!
"This is Sly Squirrel, signing off."