Jaggsiezuma's Guide to Being a Montehoney Orobearzuma
Version 1.0 (Last updated May 3, 2006)

Montehoney Orobearzuma Terminology:

Common Name:
Montehoney Orobearzuma

Scientific Name:
Felis catus honeybearus Dysphorus Psarocolius montezumai

Full Taxonomy:
Kingdom Animalia, Phylum Chordata, Class Mammalia, Order Carnivora, Family Felidae, Genus Felis, Species catus, Subspecies honeybearus, Subclassification Dysphorus Psarocolius montezumai

Collective Name:
a "flutter" of Montehoney Orobearzumae.

Montehoney Orobearzuma Appearance:

As an example, this is what Jaggsiezuma looks like:

Jaggsiezuma is a Montehoney Orobearzuma, possessing the soul of a Montezuma Oropendola misplaced in the body of a young female Honey Bear cat. In an attempt to hide her white, fluffy, striped feline exterior, she expresses her true form by wearing a costume consisting of a long black orange-tipped beak over her muzzle, dark brown wings covering her forelegs, talons on her hindpaws, and yellow tailfeathers flanking her tail.

Because of our unique pedigree, we consider ourselves both felines and avians simultaneously, but most correctly, we're simply avian...

Montehoney Orobearzuma Likes and Dislikes:

Of course we love being Montehoney Orobearzumae... after all, we're extremely rare and are far superior to all other breeds of felines as well as avians (let alone all other forms of life) . We are very proud of what we are, and are quick to defend ourselves when people say bad things about us. *nods*

We are very ticklish. So beware... some of our enemies might try to use that against us. However, as long as it's done in an affectionate manner then its not so bad...

And we really like to pounce, as a greeting or just for fun (A general rule of thumb is that as long as you can get away with it, there's nothing wrong with amusing yourself at the expense of others). Pounces also work well as a means of revenge and retaliation. We find that the effectiveness of pouncing is greatest when accompanied by a GRRRR!!!

Poking and batting others on the nose is fun too. :)

Balls are great. We love playing with anything that's round and bouncy and roll-able.

Without a doubt, chewing, nibbling, and even pecking at things are some of our favorite habits, especially when performed on other individuals. Remember that ears and tails are the most chewable of body parts. Unfortunately, a certain level of restraint must constantly be maintained, otherwise the chewed-on party may stop cooperating (to maximize enjoyment, you must always be aware of what the limits are!).

Finally, we enjoy being hugged and snuggled, and we especially love being carried and cuddled. Cuddles are particularly good when its time for sleep. :) And we aren't afraid to demand them either, cause we deserve lots of cuddles. Pettings and scritchies are great too, and wing massages are especially nice. And remember, affection is like presents... more fun to receive than to give. Only give if it will result in receiving!

Montehoney Orobearzuma Expressions:

When happy, we purrrr. To really get it going, we *RUMBLY PURRRRRRRRRRR!!!*

When sad or begging for something (such as a hug) we whimper or pout. Curling into a little ball also works very well. Remember, we're extremely cute and adorable, so use that to your advantage!

Now, meowing is a very useful tool. That's something we sometimes do spontaneously when we feel like it. But more often, we meow when we say hi and bye, and more importantly, when we want attention. For emphasis sometimes itís necessary for "MEOW!!!!!"

There are many other ways to demand attention from people (we like attention). In addition to meowing, we can poke, tug, and of course, chew, nibble, or peck at them. Biting also works, but only as a last resort. :)

Nuzzling works well for getting attention too, and along with the purrrrr, nuzzles can also be used to express affection. Oh! And let us not forget about squirming. We not only squirm to ward off tickling (curling-into-ball is also an effective tickle defence), but it is also a great technique for attention-grabbing and getting an upgrade from being merely hugged to being cuddled.

Additionally, our ears are very sensitive, both to touch as well as to our emotional state. The less happy we are, the more flattened they are, and when at our most giddy and smiley they can be totally upright. While this happens on its own, we can also conciously control our ears, and so this is yet another tool that can be used to exaggerate our desires.

Combo moves:
All the above techniques are at our disposal, and they can be especially potent when used in combination. For example, the nuzzle/curl-into-a-ball/"MEOW!" combo is a much more effective means of demanding a hug than any of the methods alone. Then, once a hug (or perhaps even the coveted cuddle) is obtained, we can follow that up with the ear-perk/PURRRRR!/nuzzle combo to express pleasure and gratitude while also reminding the subject that further hugging is expected.

Unfortunately, sometimes all these techniques don't work out properly and itís necessary to express discontent. When that happens a strong GRRRRRRR!!! is good. Biting works here as well. GRRRRRRs and biting may also be used to intimidate or show defiance.

Final Montehoney Orobearzuma Note:

Finally, the most important thing about being a Montehoney Orobearzuma is that we enjoy it. Although we can be serious when necessary, and are even prone to worrying too much, we are generally easy going and have fun with being what we are. :)