I hate vacations. No, seriously I do. This synx lives too slowly to make much of anything out of something as ephemeral as a vacation. We had a week off recently from school, so just as an example I'll try to give an idea of what happened in chronological order. Unfortunately I'm not very aware of things time-wise, so it's a toss-up whether this week will come back in crystal clear detail, or if all I'll be able to remember is that one ham sandwich I ate sometime, which turned out not to be spoiled so I was relieved at not getting food poisoning.
Friday - first evening of vacation. I spent it getting in touch with old friends if I recall. Didn't have too much luck though. I think I was trying to figure how to get a good dance workout in every day during the next week.
Saturday - don't remember a thing - may have not existed
Sunday - since the yard waste bin we ordered was being picked up tomorrow, I went and attacked the wysteria bush, took out about 6 armfuls of dormant budding branches and discovered a runner it had sent underground 12 feet through the garden, with pauses every few feet or so to send down a centimeter thick taproot about 3 feet deep, emerging from the ground to insert itself into our butterfly bush. Couldn't take out that monster runner so I pulled a temporary fix that is probably going to result in two fully mature wysteria plants instead of our current one.
Monday - sometime late in the morning the trash men came, and I felt remorse because I thought they were taking away the yard waste bin, and I'd spent the morning looking at comics on the computer when I could have been piling more stuff into it. Thankfully they were just taking the regular trash, and the yard waste bin had vanished before I woke up, so I never had a chance to pile more stuff in it, so didn't have to feel regretful.
Tuesday - I might have worked on my math or computer homework during this day. I know I didn't work on it all at the last minute, but can't attach a time to the periods where I was doing section 5.1 or when I was trying to clear up persistent memory glitches in my program, that ended up being all the teacher's fault may I add. I guess let's say I did those on Tuesday.
Wednesday - ditto for Tuesday. I was also worried that I wouldn't make it to ACCESS to try and get on their mental health support program again. I had kinda meant to go on Wednesday, and it being Wednesday already obviously meant I wasn't going.
Thursday - Ditto for Wednesday, though more despondent because I hadn't even looked up the bus schedule or called ACCESS to ask their hours. I figured with the 6 hour wait and $300 fee they charge, I must just still subconsciously be trying to avoid that crap. Most of my problems come from avoidance anyway, although avoidance is also the only way I know to deal with some of these problems in my head. I looked up the bus schedule though, and asked my owner for a ride to the bus stop the next day at 5:55am. Partially fueled by desperation, I'd promised the lady at the college I'd give ACCESS one more shot, and if I didn't go on Friday, they're closed on weekends so my last chance would be gone.
Friday - I had stayed up until 1:30am last night, and woke up this morning at 5:00am, not a pretty picture. Half killed myself getting up though, figuring I'd sleep on the hour long bus ride. Managed to coordinate with my owner and got there on time to catch the bus. I'll save the full story of how terrible this day was for a separate journal entry.
Saturday - Woke up, looked over some songs, ate a banana and some yogurt, but can't stomach grains for some reason. Late on taking SJW, and sitting down here to blog I guess. Haven't done any of that intolerable homework yet, but probably will be able to do some later, just to prove to people that I can't claim there's anything wrong with me, so they won't help me and I'll just die one day.
There were several "timeless" events, well actually most of them were. Some interesting things I remember though is working on a few programs. I made a program to pick out good and bad songs from my collection, and I fixed my image gallery generator program more. I upgraded some of the programs I use, mlnet and postfix. I spent some time on sacfurs.com and the BAF mailing list. Oh, and I went on a MUCK a few times, after I'd settled in long enough to sort of recover some fleeting shadow of my former ability to imagine and roleplay. Also played with some friends and had a delicious if conflicted time. One of my friends has totally the wrong impression about me, and I don't have the heart to correct him, and he doesn't pick up on my hints 'cause he's clueless. I guess to give away the game right here, if he reads this he should know there are some things besides an eevee than I cannot be.
Anyway, I played with my cats, who expect me to give them 100% of my attention now that I'm staying home permanently (at least that's what THEY think!). Their favorite toys are this thick rope, and a laser pointer. Our grey boy won't play at all; he's a real Garfield type, though not quite as fat. The others are plenty spastic enough to chase imaginary points of light though. *sighs* Cats are so inscrutable sometimes, I understand them only slightly better than I understand humans. They're fun to torment though. n.n
I was looking around on fchan and found a few heartwarming Flash animations as well as a great song whose creator is largely a mystery, "Move Your Dead Bones". I did a half-assed dance workout twice, but couldn't keep it up for more than a few minutes before just sinking (literally) into listless apathy on the floor. I have *such* a hard time motivating myself, and especially with exercise it seems like as soon as I get my blood moving all my effort producing impulses (dopamine deficiency?) bleed out of me like a deflating balloon.
If I remember anything else about this vacation I'll be sure to post it. But notice the notable lack of certain important activities. I never once managed to schedule any time for my homework, just doing it whenever I could remember. I failed to take advantage of vacation to meet people, go look around for jobs, find a support group to hang out with. I never managed to exercise, and never got a single bicycle ride worked in there, even though I intended to ride every day as a part of my exercise, and also as a part of browsing around town for resources, something I can't do with school in session. I didn't spend any time planning on how I'm going to approach the end of the semester. Didn't make any phone calls, schedule any appointments. Pretty much when there isn't someone else prompting me to do something, then my life ends up like this. During the period from 2002 to 2004, I spent two years trapped in that mode without getting much of anywhere. When I end up with days and days going by without anything happening, without any securing of my future, it's really frustrating. And that's why I miss school, and why I don't like vacations.
*sighs* I miss school. Two more days...
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