Gods I'm soo tired. It's midnight and I'm going to bed. Today I asked a school with nice weather if I could please stay where they are, study and learn, and still be able to pay my bills for them. I also worked on an idea my sister and I had for two magic users out of the Harry Potter universe ...loosely. I made a pamphlet, in case anyone thinks John Kerry actually voted against helping our troops in Iraq (He didn't. It was a blatant lie.)
Now all I have to do is find some way to print this pamphlet and get the resolve to go walking around handing them to people. Unfortunately my state is pretty much bought by the Democrat regime anyway. I'd rather hand out pamphlets in a swing state, but that would require lots of money to pay for bussing and lodging... and frankly um... oh yeah.
I got a work at a sammich shop! They told me I wasn't fast enough though. So I quit. They were not giving me hours instead of firing me, so I was being told pretty much that I wasn't welcome there. Stupid fast food overwhelming confusing "multitasking" hysteria... at least it wasn't as bad as what happened with my first full time job, at my mom's workplace. I uh... I'm too tired. I'll type up my paper journal entries around the 3 months I worked at my first job sometime this... millenia. Yes indeed.
I'll tell you, journal reader, flat out. If you can help me with this I'll be eternally grateful to you, because amongst other things this is why I stopped being able to write stories. Or at least I've thought long and hard and I think that the source of my problems is a profound avoidance of anything I really care about. As soon as I start feeling like I'm doing something worthwhile I get these crushing depressions, sort of a sinking mourning that no matter what I do, it's all going to be lost to me when I die. Have you any idea what to do about that, or know anyone who's life's at a screeching halt for years because of the same problem? I'm so afraid to make anything worthwhile, because it hurts too much to be trapped in a mortal body when I do.
No, you probably can't find me religion. I'd have to perceive the god with my lesser senses first, and see firsthand the experimental evidence. Yeah... I wish there was more evidence of magic in my life... I would rather be able to smile and claim that I can't say for sure whether there is magic while pink unicorns are floating outside the window, than just get this haunted look in my eyes and say that I have never seen any evidence of magic whatsoever, while outside my window there is nothing but stale reality.
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