Rigor mortis had not yet set in, though the flies were taking a definite interest. Under the circumstances, the interest was going to compound daily, if not hourly. Chicago is an expensive place.
The crash of the El traveling overhead interrupted the proceedings, and the Em and the En made it even worse.
"We need to get this back on track" the detective said. "We need to get things tied up."
The deputy nodded sadly.
"It might be a problem with our training."
"What's our main line of investigation?" asked the deputy on the spur of the moment.
The dismembered trunk lay flaccidly in a ditch.
"Well, more of a rut, actually."
"This is getting tiring" said the deputy, as he chased the deer out of the rut. A line of deer stretched out into the distance, waiting to get into the rut as well. But they could not because Frink was already taking up the space in the rut.
"Have we checked for prints?" asked the detective.
"Here prince!" called out the deputy. "Here prince!"
"We have a dismembered trunk here" said the cop suddenly. "This isn't a human at all! This looks like luggage!"
The deputy nodded sadly.
"We were sent out here to investigate a dismembered trunk, and by God we're going to do so!" said the sheriff.
"I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy" the trunk blurted out.
"He's right!" said the deputy, looking at the screen of the digital camera. "I'm not in any of these."
"I found a loose end!" cried one of the state troopers, holding up an arm.
"Well, wrap it up!" cried the private investigator, handing over the plastic wrap.
"Have you found any prints yet?" asked the stormtrooper.
"No... someday my prince will come..." said the gumshoe. The deputy nodded sadly.
The detective went over and sat next to the Deranged lunatic with the chainsaw and "Frink" written across his chest in blood.
"Did you see anything?" asked the detective of the blood-covered man waving the chainsaw.
"I saw many things" he replied sharply.
The detective said, "I see", and nodded sadly.
The deputy nodded morosely.
"NO!" cried the RCMP man at the deputy. "That's just what they'll expect us to do!"
The deputy nodded sadly.
A unicorn gratuitously trotted by.
"Quit horsing around!" cried the Fed. "I want no neigh-sayers around here!"
"Neigh" said the unicorn as he trotted off into the background, munching on some cloverr. He was in a rut too.
"We need to uncover more evidence" said the Gestapo officer, lifting the lid of the trunk. "The entire case may hinge on this. Can someone give me a hand?"
"Which one? The left or the right?" asked the KGB officer.
"No. Here!" said the Gestapo officer's right hand man as he handed him the right hand.
The trunk was filled with Kristy Kreme donuts. "How convenient!" said the deputy as he reached in and took one.
The detective nodded sadly.
The investigation lasted well into the Bluenight. "Yes", said the sergeant. "The thief may yet return to the scene of the cream."
"Don't try to glaze things over" demanded the constable.
The deputy nodded sadly, with glazed eyes.
"Somebody check the powder for prints!" said the Listuncle.
"Here prince" called the deputy. "Here Prince. We have donuts."
The investigation Wandered aimlessly on into the dawn, until the officers had had their Phil. The flies sat with their calculators, adding up the interest bill.
"Hey, we have a bunch of SR forms to fill out, and we're Rusty at it" the deputy called out.
"Maybe we could have the Andoid take care of it?" said Cpl. Punishment.
"I don't know if we can handle the Ryx." said the officer. Someone Qualined in fear.
"Dew we have to?" whined the highway patrolman.
"Well, we'd better, Justin case." said the Imperial Guardsman.
"Are we men, or are we sheep?" demanded the detective.
An ambulance came up and Ramned into the trunk, plowing into the back of the car like a Rhino with a loud crash of Tinbending.
"He obviously didn't see the Monsyne" said the detective. The deputy nodded sadly.
The driver began Dragon himself out of the wreckage.
"He looks like he knows something" said the detective. "Offer him forty pieces of Zil-ver"
"I never Rat on my friends!" the driver cried.
The driver was carried off to the interrogation Roo-m by the JLer.
"This is a parroty of an investigation" mumbled the bystander. The deputy nodded sadly.
"We have to get all the Fox" said the Tribal Elder.
"The responsibility is a Yote that is more than I can bear" said the Mafia Don.
"No wonder" said the trunk. "That camera is a Kodiak."
"Quit Pooching those foul jokes." said the Air Force officer.
"We need to get the evidence Kit sune." said the patrolman.
"This is running long" the deputy Mut-erred.
"Is Linn grading this investigation?" asked the IRC op. "If so, maybe we can have Linn "A" us."
At this point the crowd was feeling JT-ed.
"This case is in need of a quick Vix" mumbled the Burgomaster. "It's driving me Wiggy."
"Were the hell are the files I need?" demanded the detective.
An officer returned from the interrogation room and presented him with an Alpha-betized set of files.
The Borough head placed the files on a nearby hillock, thus defiling himself.
Suddenly the scene was interrutted.
THE END.
Drunken Idiots Who Put This Together:
Bluenight
Jacob T Fox
Phil Geusz
SR Foxley
Kodiak
Wanderer
Jason Lehrer
Deranged Kitsune
Justin Vae
Scarlet Macaw
Weremoose
Ramen
Ando
DanielSan
Ryx
JoanneVix - whose laptop and typing skills were desecrated to create this because the rat chickened out at the last minute.
Last Updated: Mon Jul 25 2005 07:47:58