Snape Gets Harry!

By: Starling and Dragon-sama
Posted at Starling's webpage @ and at under Dragon-sama's account.

This story is set sometime in Book 5. Harry's at it again. Snape's office has been broken into, and Snape knows who did it. It just goes to show that maybe Snape should be worried about everyone -other- than Harry.


It was a beautiful day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Hagrid's latest 'pet' was rampaging madly through the grounds. However, Harry Potter wasn't paying attention to any of this as he hurried down the dungeon corridors, heading for his next class. He approached Snape's office as he walked down the hall. Normally Snape's office door was closed, locked, bolted, chained and protected by many horribly dangerous spells and wards, but today it stood open, uncharmed, a slight draft issuing from within. As he passed, Harry gave it a curious look, but figured that it was none of his business. Besides, he was late. Harry Potter left Snape's office behind in a hurry.

Before he could make it even halfway down the hall, a voice cracked out behind him.

"Potter!" Harry turned to see Snape gliding up the hall towards him, a horrible scowl on his face. "So." he said, coming to a stop in front of Harry, glaring down at the Gryfindor. "So." he repeated, "I've finally caught you red-handed, eh Potter?"

"What?" Harry asked, quite confused. He glanced down at his watch, noting that he had precisely ten seconds to get to class before he was late.

"Don't lie to me, Potter!" Snape snarled. "I saw you walking away from my -open- office in quite a hurry. Now why do you suppose that was, Potter?"

"Wh..I was--"

"Or does Potter think that he's too good to ask permission to go into my private office? Perhaps a bit of talent at the game of Quidditch has gone to your head, Potter!"

Harry choked, as he looked over Snape's shoulder. Fred and George, the Griffindor twins, were tip-toeing down the corridor. George put one finger up against his grinning lips, following Fred as they silently vanished into Snape's office.

"Are you listening, Potter?" Snape bellowed, "Or does Potter think himself too important to listen to his instructors? You've been getting away with murder these past four years, Potter. Dangerous ingredients have been disappearing from my office at a prodigious rate. Well no more!"

Harry's eyes widened as Professor McGonogall silently and imperiously strode into Snape's office. Moments later, Fred and George hurried out, raising their hands protectively as McGonogall shoed them away with her wand.

"Boomslang skin, Gillyweed. Both come from my private stores. We have gone over this before, and I'll put an end to your meddling if it's the last thing I do!"

"But Profess--"

"Silence! You have no right to speak now. You have been crossing lines ever since you arrived at this school. But your little fan-club won't save you now. I've finally got you right where I want you."

Harry went pale as Lucius Malfoy, followed closely by his son, Draco Malfoy, both glided up the hallway and into Snape's office. Draco gave a superior smirk as they passed through the open, unlocked door.

"Professor!" Harry said pointing over Snape's shoulder.

"I won't fall for such a childish trick as that," Snape narrowed his eyes, hissing triumphantly. "What do you think Dumbledore will say when he finds out his prize student has been grubbing through my private possessions?"

"But--" Harry said just as Draco and Lucius came out, their robes bulging noticeably, their arms overflowing with vials, powders and scrolls. Draco paused to kick a scroll back up into his hand and followed his father out of the dungeons.

"You have nothing to say for yourself! I told you, break into my office one more time and--" Snape drew his wand across his neck. "Expulsion."

While Snape was yelling, Hagrid came striding furtively down the hall. He had to duck not to hit his head on the ceiling of the corridor. He raised one massive hand in greeting as he saw Harry, giving a sympathetic smile as he ducked into Snape's office.

"I haven't been break--" Harry's breath caught in his throat as a hideous monster covered in massive blood red eyes and tentacles, a light blue ribbon tied around one of its tentacles, slithered unctuously down the corridor. It gave Snape's back a very hungry look, then ducked into his office as well.

"You have no defense!" Snape roared. "I have caught you, escaping from the scene of your crime, pockets I'm sure full of ... does Boomslang skin sound familiar to you?"

"N--" Harry tried as Hagrid came out, shoeing the monster ahead of him, a large bundle tied with string under his arm. He gave a polite nod to someone who looked like, and may indeed have been Mad-Eye Moody. Moody's lazy eye followed Hagrid's progress behind his head as he headed into Snape's office. The regular noisy thunking of his fake wooden leg was drowned out by the sound of Snape's fist hitting the palm of his hand as he punctuated his words.

"Do. You. Hear. Me. Potter?"

"But Prof--"

"It seems the great Potter has not yet understood the seriousness of his situation. Do you really think your reputation is going to protect you, that your friends will save you now from your own crime?"

As Moody left, his leg was again muffled by the echoes of Snape's ranting. Harry edged around, not even listening to Snape anymore. He had to find some way to escape this... madness. But there was no escape. Snape had him right where he wanted him.

"I gave you fair warning, you pint-sized celebrity," Snape snarled. "I told you what would happen. Just like your father, too big-headed for his own good, too self important to follow proper procedure."

"Hey, that's--" Harry said angrily.

"SILENCE!" Snape roared as Professor Dumbledore came walking down the dungeon steps. His eyes were twinkling as they fell upon Harry. Then he disappeared into Snape's sadly unclosed office.

"I've had enough of your self importance, Potter. You should learn to treat your betters with more respect. But I suppose with the influence of people like that Sirius Black, it can't be helped. People think you're such a goody-two shoes, but breaking rules like this will show them the truth."

Dumbledore gave Harry a grandfatherly smile as he exited Snape's office, arms overflowing with vials, powders and scrolls. He traveled up the steps while Harry twitched uncontrollably. Snape gave a sideways grin as he thought his words were beginning to have an effect on Pott--Harry.

"The Truth is that you are nothing more than a nasty little boy who considers rules to be beneath him."

"I'm not..." Harry started to defend himself, but trailed off in absolute astonishment as who should come up the corridor but the Dursleys. Snape noticed Harry turning an odd shade of green, but decided that whatever Harry consumed in his office was finally taking effect. Aunt Petunia's pinched face wore a pensive expression, and Uncle Vernon's mustache bristled as they caught sight of Harry. They gave a disgusted glare at Snape's back as they squeezed into his office, Dudley having the hardest time of it since he refused to take his protective hands off his rather large posterior.

"I don't care how many times your picture appears in the papers," Snape continued as the Dursleys sneaked out, and waddled off down the corridor, a large, full paper bag clutched in Vernon's hands. "It doesn't make you above the rest of us. And cut that melodrama," he snapped as Harry clapped a hand against his scar in pain.

Voldemort strode imperiously up the corridor, followed closely by a scuttling Wormtail. His evil red eyes burned into Harry as he went into Snape's office. Wormtail gave a little squeak as his master left him, and hurried in after him.

Snape stopped, turning around at the sudden noise, but the corridor was empty. "Rats," he muttered, turning back to Harry who was making small apoplectic noises. "I've had enough of your whining and excuses. Empty your pockets Potter!"

In a sort of daze, Harry complied, eyes following after the retreating form of the Dark lord and his servant, Wormtail staggering under the towering pile of things he was carrying while Voldemort merely studied the single vial he held.

Snape looked in dissapointment at Harry's wand and assorted quills and homework assignments, unhappily noting the complete lack of anything that might have been in his office. He did notice Harry's sudden look of horror as he picked up a letter, and with a look of triumph, he opened it. He expected a list of dark ingedients for an illegal potion, but all he got was a quick note from Harry's godfather. Scowling, he threw the letter down, but Harry's look of horror hadn't faded.

Despite the fact it had been almost a year since the end of the Tri Wizard Tournament, despite all the evidence against it, despite the fact that Harry was next to him when he died, Cedric Diggory just came waltzing down the corridor and into Snape's office. Upon exiting, he gave Harry a cheerful wink and a boyish smile before he dissapeared back up the corridor. All poor Harry could think to do was make strange gurgling noises.

"Well, rest assured, Potter, that I will inform the headmaster of my suspicions." Snape sneered, very unhappy he hadn't been able to find any evidence of Harry's crime. "Take your stuff and leave, Potter."

Harry did just that, though he did try to put his wand in his sock, and he made a nifty paper goose out of Sirius's letter. He then staggered down the hallway. "It's a goose!" he said sniggering madly, off to his very (by now) late class. Snape, still scowling, watched him leave before turning and heading back to his still completely open and unprotected office. For a second all he could do was stare at the empty shelves and the remaining spilled, broken potions before his face contorted in anger.

"I don't know how he did it, but I swear one of these days I'm going to get that monster. POTTER! I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DID IT, BUT I SWEAR, ONE OF THESE DAYS I WILL GET YOU!"


Author's Notes:
^ I still say we should have had Cho the one who originally broke into his office!
> Noo, but that would introduce continuity!
^ The horror! Dragon-sama here. *Sadly sighs* We did it again.
> *scrunches up paper* It's a goose!
^ Shut up Starling! You have no excuse for being completely insain! Harry on the other hands...
> That's I-n-s-a-n-e.
^ ...Crucio!
> *throws Harry Potter in the path of the curse*
^ Rats, foiled again. Harry Potter can no longer feel pain.
> For someone so intelligent, Snape sure can be dense when it comes to Harry.
^ True, true. You'd think after all of Harry's dozens of act of selflessness and courage Snape would get a tiny clue.
> That's a-c-t-s.
^ ...Starling no BAKA! *Hauls out Mallet-sama and smashes said co-author into the ground* There. The undodgeable mallet attack!
> *groans* Do I look like Ranma...
^ I don't know, do you? Well, that's it for this time. 'Till the next time insanity decides to strike!
> Bye! ^.^ *bounces away*

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