(singing) I wanna be a Pokemon Master! I wanna be a Pokemon Master!
"Been watching a little Pokemon, have we Igor?"
"Oh, Master! Yeth. I have Mathter."
"You're lisping again."
"Thorry er sorry Master. Why do you wish to know what humble Igor is thinking?"
("To cut out that infernal song for one.")
"I said that given circumstances, I'm inclined to grant your request."
"Mathter, er, Master I would be humbled to think that my years of servitude warranted any reward whatso--"
"Shut up and drink this potion."
"You mean this caustic, black, bubbly bile you have just handed me?"
"Hurry before it eats through the test tube."
"I hear and obey. *gulp* Now will I be a Pokemon Master?"
"Yes. Just sit back and wait for a moment."
"... Master I--I feel so strange. What is h-happening to.... A-a-aaaaagggh! What is happening to me? My body is twisting into a horrible decrepit monster! What have you done? Master no! Aaagh! The pain! Turn your head away and shatter all the mirrors for I can no longer bear to see my own visage. It is too hideous! Now strange yellowish hair springs out all over my body and aaagh! A razor has erupted from my nether regions! Master why, after all my years of servitude?!"
"You should be grateful. I'm granting your wish."
"But Master! I have become bulbous, short and covered with yellow hair. Pokemon Masters are young, tall and thin, bearing pokeballs and sporty baseball caps!"
"Who said anything about Pokemon Masters? You said 'I want to be a Pokemon.....Master.' I am Master, so I granted you your wish. Now you will be a Pokemon."
"Master, please I beg--. Aaaaggh! oohhh..."
"...At last the transformation is complete. My most hideous creation has become flesh and blood before me. Hahahahaaa! With this creature in my ranks I will be unstoppable. No! I will be unopposed! The world will flock to their doom and soon, I will rule it all. Hahahahaaaa ... Oh? What's this? Waking up already? What do you have to say to the world my creation?"
After my little brother exposed me to my very first Pokemon episode, I felt a need to express my opinion. After I stopped shaking in fear, I thought to myself how useful Pikachu would be in a quest for world domination. Then I considered a different way to interpret the line "I wanna be a Pokemon Master" in the theme song. Finally I asked myself "Where did Pikachu come from anyway?" Thus was born this scene, an exercise in dialogue-only settings. I feel much better now thank you.
...No I really feel better. You don't understand. Please take that straight-jacket away. No! Not the white rooms, again! I can't go back. I've already counted all of the buttons on the wall pads!...
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 License. 1999. Please do not reprint without permission.
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Last Updated: Saturday January 22, 2005 (13:55:51)