- I used to request that people asked permission before posting
these stories to web sites, mailing lists, newsgroups and so on.
Most people did, which was nice. I discovered a couple of things,
though, as I did a trawl through altavista, looking for references
to myself. (Tell me you've never done it!)
- The first was that a few people had posted stories to web sites
- The second was that I wasn't upset.
- Let me see if I can explain this. When I was a much younger
pervert I had dreams of becoming a professional writer. The problem
was that I didn't write enough to get myself up to a professional
standard and I kept having major crises of confidence. A few small
press magazines published stuff under my real name, which felt kind
of good at the time, but realistically I knew that I'd never really
make it. I gave up writing altogether for a long time.
- When I finally got myself on-line (embarrassingly late for an IT
bod) I discovered the world of transformation and transgender
fiction and fell in love with the whole scene. There were so many
talented writers out there telling the kinds of stories I had only
heard in my head at night, with the lights turned low.
- Within a month I had hundreds of stories archived on my hard
drive. I read them compulsively, creating directory structures to
help me classify them and find my favourites. It became a real
lifeline for me, as I'd felt for so long that there couldn't be
anyone else out there as sick and twisted as myself.
- After a few months of subscribing to the TSA talk and the
original TG fiction mailing lists, I began to feel uncomfortable.
While it was quite satisfying taking what I wanted, I couldn't shake
off the feeling that I should be giving something back to the
community. I knew I could write, and had enough stories with
transformational themes kicking around in my head.
- In the end I came up with a pseudonym that amused me and started
writing and posting stories to the lists. I even put together a web
site to archive them. Out of interest, I put a hit counter on the
original web site, and was stunned at the number of hits I got.
Between them, and the distribution my stories got on the mailing
lists and other sites, my stories were reaching hundreds of times
more people than the magazines that once printed them. I still
can't describe how this made me feel.
- The reason I started writing in the first place wasn't that I
felt I was a born writer. It certainly wasn't to make money. It
was because I wanted to try to make other people feel the same kind
of sense of excitement and wonder that I've felt over the years when
reading the stories that I've loved. More to the point, I wanted
to be the one doing it to them. I suppose it's an ego thing. Just
because I hide behind a mask doesn't mean I don't have an ego.
- By letting these stories end up where others would put them,
maybe I can reach more people than I'd ever dreamed possible.
- The point of all this is that the stories on this site are
freely distributable in any form. I don't care if you put them in a
pay site or fanzine or repost them to usenet. They are officially
literary freeware. The only things I ask are that you credit me as
the author and that you don't change the text of the stori.
Anything else goes.
- Oh yeah. If you like them, please write and tell me.
- I told you I had an ego.