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if it's FB it is MtF sadly.

Episode submitted by Weirdoid on Thu Jun 9 07:50:26 2011
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I wish my writing did something for me, I really do. I love the idea of playing with gender roles. i wish to be free to act feminine in real life and my fantasies still require a TG element.

But your statement of "if it is iridescent sun it is MtF" is an understatement. If it is Fictionbranches it is MtF would be more accurate. And most accurate of all would be "if it is the online gender transformation community it is MtF."

Since my attraction turn to the masculine in real life the idea of becoming a woman does nothing for me and female genitals are a turn off. I keep trying to find a place to be myself, both online and in real life.

The gay community is all about the masculine. Apparently back in the 70's the macho "castro clone" movement replaced the stereotypical feminine gay guy. if you go to a gay club and do not act manly, or worse crossdress when not on a drag night (usually on weekday nights when I work, an hours drive away) you get shunned or mocked.

On the other hand the TG community is about the feminine. Even crossdressing sites devote alot of energy to voice training and passing as female. I want freedom to act and dress feminine but I do not want to pass. So I do not fit their either.

So I turn to fiction where my fantasies and my reality overlap and time and again I only see their is no room for me here either. It is depressing.

I wish their was a place for people like me. I wish their were other people like me. I keep seeking gender fantasies to both be myself and to explore my fantasies. And time and again I just find it all about the woman instead.

I drifted silent as of late as I felt no one would appreciate my tastes and you'd likely be more comfortable not knowing I existed even with the things I added in the past. What is the point when my existance just makes you want to defend your own identities to show you are not like me. (come on, just say you find guys and masculine crossdressers attractive, every guy on a TG forum has to suddenly state how NOT gay they are). Sure enough it plugged away on its female norm and new members crawled out of the woodwork without my presence to disturb them.

I wish I could get some joy out of writing for my tastes like people say I should. When in front of my computer even my fantasies lose their luster and my writing is more technical than erotic. Or worse, expressing my feeling of hopelessness and depression.

Sorry this became a rant, but when you say one arc is guaranteed as MtF it is an understatement as almost all of them are. I wish their were people like me so I am not alone in the world. I wish I had a way to be myself.

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