The Ward

The room is quite dark, lit only by a window high up on the wall. In the middle of the floor is a table - looking closer, a deck of cards is spread around around a man sitting squat in the table centre. A large green cherry dangles round his neck on a thin silver chain.
Around the walls of the room are five beds, each occupied by a strait jacketed man slavering wildly and staring fixedly into space.

• In the first bed, a man clutches a screwdriver between his teeth as he makes a tuneless din - possibly the 'Dam Busters' theme.
• A pillow case covers the head of the gentleman in the second bed - black lines have been felt-tipped where perhaps eye slits should be and large patches of dried tomato ketchup are plainly visible.
• The third bed contains a man wearing a dog collar - studded and belonging to one 'Acorn smudge.' The lead trails over the side of the bed as 'Acorn' tries to find an imaginary bone in the mattress using a toy spade gripped between his teeth.
• Some sort of painful colonic irrigation is occurring on the fourth bed, at least that's the only rational explanation for all the water and the unusual use that a blue plastic funnel is being put to. The tuna baguette is less easily explain away.
• The final bed contains a spectacled gentleman, continually shouting "BOOM" and then bouncing on the bed chanting "Puchaka, puchaka"

I'd get back to the hall quickly if I where you, madness can be contagious.

Tuesday, 08-Feb-2000 10:47:00 GMT