You might be Immortal if...

Your sword collection is larger and older than the Tower of London's.

You think it clever to fool people by trading glass beads for useful goods.

You haven't renewed you Atlantis Homeowners membership in a while...

You greet trees with the phrase, "Hey there, Junior."

Every one of your spouses has died tragically. Of old age.

You invented the wheel.

You have accidentally stared into space for years at a time before.

The only way to fit your birthday candles on a birthday cake involves high energy physics and nuclear fusion.

When people mention government scandals, the first thing that comes to mind is "The Domesday Book."

You wake up every century or so on a huge hoard of gold and jewels.

When people talk about endangered species you say, "That's nothing! You should have seen what happened to the dinosaurs!"

You take H.G. Wells references as personal insults.

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