I'm going to try setting a schedule again. Perhaps in my long and agonized drifting through this unfavorable universe I have managed to heal enough to where I can start handling it again. I'll try not to let it slacken, or lose track of time and self as I periodically do; and will have to figure out an alarm of some sort to bring me back when I slip. I'll also try not to do everything at once; just easing into it a small task at a time, so that I don't crumble under the anxiety of suddenly realizing that with the ability to keep a schedule, I can start working on my stories, and pick up the clarinet again, and exercise regularly, and apply to one job every day, and a host of things that I'm not currently doing.
As for methods of alarm clock... hold on the microwave is beeping to me that my food's done. And sadly I have to say I seem to have missed whatever the EDD is doing both morning and afternoon... for 3 days in a row now. Oh and there's the shower fan still running... okay it's off.
AS for methods of alarm clock, I have a few that work okay. Really I think the problem is being able to set the alarm clock, check the scheduler, more than responding to its alarm. There is a nasty tendancy for me to grow accustomed to an alarm and stop being able to consider it important to the point that I even lose my ability to hear it going off. Kitchen timer is like that, depending on how close it is.
Okay, for now I have to pull up the EDD schedule and see if it's in my best interests to make the 1:15 appointment. It's 1:00 right now, and it takes me a little over 30 minutes to get there, so I guess it's pointless, but might as well see what I've missed...
Sigh, once again I accomplished precisely nothing today. Read a little IIDB, studied up on lojban somewhat. Didn't get my email working again. Stupid email. I suppose I should try to go do something then...
I'll keep my achieve schedule efforts in a single journal entry here I think.
2004.10.14
If a polecat were to buy a keyboard on which to type, would it resemble amd respond something like a DDR mat? Now that would be interesting. Too bad I can't ever actually try that out, not being a polecat myself. u.u
Hokay so what I'll need to do to set a schedule is first figure out what I want to do regularly, second write it all down, and third devise a system by which I can't miss when I'm supposed to be obeying the schedule. Of course that won't stop me from brushing off the alarm, and forging on obsessively, full of guilt and trapped in a refusal to let myself do the right thing. I haven't figured out how to stop doing that yet, but I have to do something. So I'll figure out what to do regularly yes...
2004.10.15
What was I doing again... oh yes schedule. So it's 4:10. I shall have the brownies for my sister's birthday done by 5:00 then. But what to do regularly... perhaps if I make a point to touch the corner of a nearby street every morning at 9am (that way I'll already be out the door) then it would be a good thing to do. Hmm...
Darn, didn't have the brownies or even dishes done by 6. We ate out though, and I made the brownies after. So we're pretty much set.
2004.10.16
Okay so that's what I'll do. Every day at 9am I will have my bicycle out on that particular street corner. Probably to look for jobs, or other errands. I'll have to get up by 7 or 8, so I need to go to be about... 1 or 2 hours. Eeks, well we'll see.
There was a MOUNTAIN of dishes today! I had to fight to get even half of them cleaned, many different kinds of dish, and 95% of all our silverware. When was the last time I did dishes? Thought it was um... yesterday or something...
2004.10.17
Well I failed. I did get out, at around 3pm. Applied for a job at a noisy coffee shop. I couldn't even wake up before 9--I stayed up until after 4am. It's not the worst thing in the world, I suppose I'll just have to *sighs* try again. Tomorrow I will be on that street corner at 9am with my bicycle, right on schedule. Since it's only midnight currently I should be able to get up in time.
Provided I don't stay up even later reading comic strips. Or playing Jak II :shudders:
2004.10.19
Ack! I got the job at the coffee shop, so I had totally better be out at that street corner by 9. They illegally want to make me work for 4 hours without a break, with no place to stand. ;.; But it's a good location, and my only chance in the world right now. If the people are nice it won't be too bad. Hope I can earn more than minimum wage though, eventually. 4 hours, an unpaid 30 minute lunch, and then 4 more hours, and I get a total of $48 for that. Better'n the warehouse at least; now all I have to do is figure out how to make coffee...
Is my Author playing games with me or what? As soon as I start thinking of setting up a schedule just for the purposes of random self discipline, I land a job that coincidentally wants me to follow that very schedule with only a few minute's difference. At any rate, normal journal entry madness begins from this point.
Comment
Index
Previous
(Getting chroot CGI working)
Next
(Allergic to Work, Seriously)