Journal entry June 5th 2001
  The past few days have been terribly busy. I have at last selected the cult I will take over. They are a small group who worship some made-up demonic entity; very soon they will worship me instead. Their main goal is silly; I plan to change it into one more befitting my needs and wants. My lifestyle has become more decadent since the influx of cash from my accountant's "previous investments". I eat only the finest foods, and nightly have begun a ritual of bathing and oiling my skin and fur. For now my bodyguards assist me, but shortly I will acquire several young ladies to do this for me.
  I have received several hundred e-mails from people wishing to sleep with me. It shall take me several days to sort through them so I might select a few people to become part of my personal entourage. I already have such delicious plans for them, ideas for outfits to make them wear are bouncing around in my head. I'm sure Demask would love to get a hold of my ideas and create the outfits; having willing models would surely sweeten the pot.
  I have yet to participate in sexual intercourse with another being, but needless to say I have fully "explored" myself, a very pleasurable pastime. I am considering posing for yet another magazine, perhaps this time a more tasteful one, Mademoiselle mayhaps. Which show to appear on for an interview first is my current concern, though so many plans are formulating in my mind now. Shall I appear solo, or perhaps with another Changeling? I must take time to contact the other Changelings, perhaps even brainwash them to be loyal to myself. Some would be very formidable and worth my time to gain control of. Those pointless qualms about ethics no longer faze me. What do I care if I control the lives of others? Were I to abstain, my pawns would surely become the property of another.
  Journal entry June 6th 2001
  A interesting development today: I was called to the hospital for some news. While I am quite aware my brain chemistry has changed, for the better, I was unsure how my body chemistry did. I have learned that my brainwashing ability is caused by many powerful pheromones my body has begun to emit constantly. These pheromones have mind altering properties akin to those of many drugs which I have gained an immunity to. James had written me as being able to control the minds of others, and it seems my body has found a way to emulate these powers naturally. Sadly, my own immunity brings me to the conclusion that other Changelings might be immune to my control as well. This could prove disastrous -- if I try to control someone who is immune to my pheromones, they could reveal my secrets! Fortunately, the doctor who informed me was foolish enough to keep the knowledge to himself, so now of course he is under the influence of the pheromones he discovered and will do all he can to keep their existence a secret!
  Journal entry June 15th 2001
  What is the essence of a person, the essence of a human? Is it a purely genetic thing, are you human only because your body is that of a man or woman? Or is being human really a way to think, a way to act? Humans have for countless centuries decided the fate of nature, of other species. Guiding the lives and deaths of other species seems to be something humans both excel at and enjoy doing. Perhaps this is what humanity is, the ability to shape the way another life form is, how another creature acts and looks. If this is humanity's true face, the controlling master, then I have become a perfect human.
  What could have done this to me, to reshaped me in such a way? In truth, much of this was done by me, so much of what I have become I myself shaped. I shaped my form in my fantasies, made it everything I wanted to be but wasn't. I made Sasha, she was always a part of me, but now I am Sasha. Who is this creature, what is she. She is in essence power, the power to control everything about someone else. How they look, how they think and feel, in essence what they are. True, my ability to do this is not absolute, I can only shape people who can easily be shaped, and I am limited to controlling their minds, but the mind controls the body. I have learned that my power works through pheromones, chemicals the body produces that control how the mind works. My pheromones turn those with weak minds, those easily shaped already, into mental putty around me. I am disappointed that only the weak-minded bend to my will, but the simple fact that they do bend fills me with such a sense of power.
  My accountant, Sidney Thames, has a weak and cowardly mind. He used to take advantage of those he saw as weaker than he. Though the strong prey on the weak, the weak sometimes prey on each other. Now Sidney is mine. He tried to take advantage of me, but at this point Sidney would rather die than betray me! The government says they want soldiers with strong wills, but in truth the best soldier has a weak will, weak until it's tempered like a sword. My security guards had weak wills, but I have tempered them, made them strong. Each would now willingly kill someone for me.
  Now my greatest challenge, the cult of Marndilina. The cult members themselves I could control individually with ease; were they not weak-willed, they wouldn't be cult members. It's the leader I will have problems with. His will is strong, and he has temporary control over my cult's members.
  My target is nice and weak now. Not like the hate groups or old cults, but a fresh new cult, still weak in numbers and beliefs. I will do anything to get what I want, and this cult is what I want. I try to brainwash the leader first, he tries as well to brainwash me. But since my transformation my will has become strong, and neither of us can control the other. He will not stand in my way, his cult is destined to be mine, with or without him. I try again, using seduction as my tactic this time, but the fool does not find me attractive. He regrets this decision; I call on my security, my soldiers, and have him beaten. Surely this would weaken him, make him more receptive to my advances, but it is not to be. He believes he is right. By now I have grown tired of him. With a single order I have one of my security guards break the fool's neck. Before my transformation I was never ruthless, but now I am, and it feels good.
  With little resistance I convince the two dozen cult members, 10 teen boys, 12 teen girls, and two 20-something women, that I am their Messiah and rightful leader. My small circle of control has grown; first my accountant, my four security guards, and my doctor, and now these people. I command my cult to dress in latex always. My predecessor forced his pawns into celibacy, even had the boys get vasectomies, but my methods on sex are different. I have them participate in group orgies nearly nightly, and I often take part therein personally. All this I do in secret. Were word to get out, I would be endlessly hounded. I can even imagine many other Changelings would oppose me -- I don't want that.
  Journal entry June 28th 2001
  After some deliberation, I have picked a program to appear on. Barbara Walters will interview me, and quite pleasing choice. I will tell her my story, leaving out key pieces naturally, and she will tell the world. No other Changelings will appear with me, I will be solo. Local reporters and reporters from the National Enquirer still hound me, but I'm unfazed. Sidney's deviant manipulation of funds has my fortune growing by leaps and bounds now, all highly illegal of course, not that I would care. Should his methods be exposed, Sidney will do his best to exonerate me of all charges, as he should. Of course I keep a good influx of funds into worthy causes, to paint the best picture of me. Already rumors fly about my sudden fanatical security, how I am getting it, or if the money is real or not.
  I have studied many books on cults and how they brainwash their members. A helpful practice, my reading speed is much higher than before, it is as if my mind were a sponge, absorbing information like water. Using this new information I have begun to reinforce my hold on my followers. Their weak minds bend to my will so fully, now I know the exhilaration cult leaders feel. To control another's mind is intoxicating and even erotic. I have considered recruiting, but that would be dangerous. Hiding my cult now is a chore, and covering up their former leader's murder is proving most difficult. But as I further entrench myself in their minds I feel such power, I am a living god to these few people.
  Michael Jackson and BlueNight continue to call me, suggesting I join them in the Neverland Ranch. Living in a city is too dangerous, they tell me, being so public could lead to tragedy. Perhaps for my former self it might, but I have become all he envisioned, all he merely implied I was. I am a fantasy made flesh and blood, and what a fantasy I am. I've already moved to a penthouse apartment, and have changed all the windows to double layered bullet proof glass. I am trying to get permission to set up alarm sensors on buildings that would make good sniper positions as well, but the city resists. I will create my fortress, to protect myself from those who would seek to cause me harm.
  Journal entry July 4th 2001
  America celebrates its birthday. And I celebrate, but for a different reason. 5 months after the transformation and I am already rich, power is sure to follow soon. Already I control the lives of 17 people, and will expand the circle of my influence to others. My interview with Mrs. Walters comes in a few days, and Demask has sent me a new outfit which will be perfect for it. A gold latex Chinese dress with an ample opening in back for my wings, decorated with embossed black Chinese dragons: Add to that some gold shoulder-high gloves and a lovely black pearl necklace I bought. I will look stunning for my interview.
  I am going to contract a plastic surgeon, a good one, to design a procedure many members of the List have envisioned before. I intend to surgically transform four of my female cult members, the four who now aid me in my bathing rituals. I've decided to alter their faces to make them look like vixens. Perhaps I will also give them tails -- or perhaps not, as their tails would be stiff and lifeless, unfortunately. I will of course have the procedure tested first, a female street person will do nicely. I am hopeful the procedure will work well on the first try. If it does, the street person will become part of my cult, if not, I will make her vanish. I think my former self would see such an attitude as cold, but that is how I am. I think I shall transform all my cult members in this fashion, though into other creatures. It is not quite what I hoped for, but I shall make do with what I have now.
  My last check up showed that my production of eggs has slowed. The doctors believe that my body has "settled" into its biological processes. I find it strange though, as I have become sexually active. I suppose it's possible that that is why the process has slowed, but somehow I doubt it.