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For a Happy Hoppy World
by Michael Bard
Michael Bard -- all rights reserved

After a long night at union meetings and auto manufacturing related endeavours, the CHIEF BUNNY finally got home, parked his insanely overpowered car in his drive way, got out, locked the door, and slowly walked into his lonely house. He hated this part of his life, but THE PLAN was still in its infancy.

Locking the house door behind him, and checking that the water-cooled machinegun was armed and ready in case some dirty double-dealing socialists tried to visit, the tired CHIEF BUNNY walked his annoying human form down the hallway, through the kitchen, and then into the secret passage. A quick pass through the LAPINATOR and the CHIEF BUNNY was once again is his hoppy happy bunny form and gleefully happily hopping down the dirt-lined passage and into the warren of his central control room.

Immediately all the other bunnies dropped what they were doing, abandoning their work stations and monitoring stations, and swarmed the CHIEF BUNNY. All the bunnies were huggling and snuggling happily together. This went on and on until the CHIEF BUNNY sighed, forced his mind back to business, and asked for reports.

A brown doe burst out with "The wolves are launching more Orbital Mind Control Lasers."

The CHIEF RABBIT laughed.

Another doe then reported with "The wolf's chief, SHADOWWOLF, ate the Lapist we sent to talk to him."

"Was the poor lapist's mind successfully downloaded? Is it ready to be read into his happy hoppy clone?" the CHIEF RABBIT asked.

"All set," reported the medical doe.

"Our plan is a slow one, but a sure one my lovelies," the CHIEF RABBIT said. "Unlike the equines and their EQUINATOR, and the wolves and their orbital weapons, and all the others, OUR way is the way that will win."

All the does and bucks cheered, happily hopping around and around, over and under each other, joying in the physical contact. "YAY!" "YAY PHIL!" "YAY BUNNIES!"

"Sir," another doe interrupted. "The First Church of the Lapine has gained another 47 members today."

"YAY!" all the bunnies went. And "YAY!" again!

"Yes my lovelies," the CHIEF RABBIT began, "the secret to world domination is to make the humans WANT you to rule them. No sudden TFs, no threats of weapons and destruction, just a slow gradual conversion to the better way. Before they know it, everybody will WANT to be a lapist and we rabbits will have won!"

"YAY!" all the bunnies went. And "YAY!" again!

"The master plan for a happy hoppy bunny world proceeds!" the CHIEF RABBIT shouted.

"YAY!" all the bunnies went. "YAY PHIL!" And "YAY!" again!

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Website Copyright 2004,2005 Michael Bard.  Please send any comments or questions to him at mwbard@transform.com