Last night I stayed up until 5:20am. For a while there I didn't think I was going to be able to sleep at all. And then I woke up at 10:50am, and have been falling asleep on my feet ever since. I can't go to sleep though, or I'll miss going to... oh I missed it. There was an afternoon workshop at the unemployment agency. I hate those workshops, they never teach you what you need. This one was about how to use the phone book to find jobs. I already use the phone book to find jobs. I want a workshop titled, "Exchange tips and inside info with other people who are unemployed," but they don't have it. And my mood is still down... down down down... plus it's hot and I'm all oily... I think whatever is growing around here is growing on my skin because it itches and irritates my eyes and makes me sneeze if I'm not on Claritin. Plus it's hot. I hate it being so hot. I can't think when it is this hot. I can't break paragraphs when it is this hot. I wish I could crawl into a hole and hide from the sun, down where it's cool and moist, but our cheap house is a cement block with a house on it... no basement. Nobody has a basement. I think they're afraid of earthquakes. I need to get on my bicycle and go somewhere, but I have nowhere to apply, no school, no friends to meet, no money to go shopping, no beautiful places to visit (my town is a hot dry nasty wasteland, where not artificially irrigated). I wish I was sitting on a rock overlooking the ocean, soothed by the crash and sussuration of the salty waves, as the air fills my lungs, crisp and clear and cool, next to a huge gnarled treetrunk sharing in my experience as we gaze out into the sea.
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