I got a job recently, and I don't enjoy it not because it's hard work, or because it pays minimum wage. Not because my boss is strongly religious (though otherwise very nice), and not because working at a walk-in coffee shop is unsanitary to the extreme. And not even because there are bewildering customers. For the most part my interaction with them is handily scripted, or limited to phrases like, "Here you go, enjoy."
It's because I'm not getting anywhere. I'm the problem, not my job. I could work there for years and years, and still only have a small savings. I wouldn't be helping my community, or moving to a place that doesn't almost kill me every summer with the abominable weather. I'm not making a difference politically, environmentally, or socially. I don't have any lasting impact on people--coffee is guzzled faster than you can make it. And I'm much too smart to be working at a coffee shop; if I wasn't such a miserable failure I could be using my intelligence to do great things. Even if I wasn't doing great things, if I didn't find it so much a struggle to do self-beneficial things, I would be able to at least live a good life for myself.
But I'm not, and I don't know how to escape from this nightmare I've trapped myself in. So I hate my wonderful job.
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