There was some uncertainty whether I would be allowed to work today, as they were still working on the schedule. Dreading it, but feeling obligated so as not to appear a candidate for being laid off, I picked up the telephone just now and asked to make sure I was supposed to show up at 3:30pm today.
I wasn't, and almost melted in relief when I found out. I can't understand why I was so relieved, as working today would be a good thing.
So then I got a phone call myself. The manager asked if I wanted to work today. Someone didn't show up when they were supposed to and they needed the help. So now I'm going to work at 3:30pm and here's the strange thing...
I don't feel anxious.
I don't feel dreading, despairing, moody, half mad from self depreciating sabatoge and delay tactics. I think it's because they really do need the help, and I like helping other people, if not myself. Mysterious though, why couldn't I feel calm like this when I was scheduled to work?
Comment
Index
Previous
(Stop Depressing Yourself! -.-)
Next
(To Live and Care ad Finitum)