This is an introduction of onesself to the newsgroup alt.lifestyle.furry. Please check their faq if you have no idea what I'm talking about. It's kind of a soul-baring exercise, and a chance for us to get our opinions out on the floor. So read on, but be warned, opinions are like nose hairs. Everyone's got some...
Furry Lifestyle Furvey
So Elmer Fudd said to Bugs Bunny, "No you wascawy wabbit! I'm just here fow a furvey."
"A foyvey, eh? Well let me see..."
1) Are you male or female?
Society forces either persona into a restrictive stereotypical role.
1.1) What's with all these decimal points?
I liked this older furvey, but I wanted to pull some questions from the newer furvey. I inserted them here and there, where appropriate.
2) How old are you?
Old enough to acknowledge myself.
3) What zodiac sign are you?
Aquarius. Not the sign I was born under, but the sign that I most closely associate with.
4) What year were you born in, and what is your Chinese New Year animal?
I don't know much about the Chinese New Year, but I have been told that my Chinese New Year animal represents intelligence and cunning.
5) What month/day were you born in?
Time is measured in relative quantities.
6) Are you left handed or right handed?
I presume to be right handed. I'm one of those who can't tell the
difference between right and left in the dark, without the attending
benefits of ambidexterity of course.
7) What interests/hobbies do you have?
Programming computer games
8) What do you do for a living?
I live. I live as a student now, but I hope to someday make a living for myself.
9) What talents do you have?
I'm quick on my feet with words. I love puns and poetry. Hey...!
Puns and poses,
Guns and roses.
Puns and poetry,
Guns and Rosary.
Click click click.
I am terminally silly.
I usually grasp mathematics easily and enjoyably.
I always have a song in my head, and I can make one up almost as fast as I can play it.
I have such a vivid imagination that I can make my characters come to life. They talk to me.
I wouldn't exactly call it split personality or schizopherenia. I simply cannot perceive reality as being any more important than imagination. I consider this a talent because my characters have very helpful advice when I aspire to write their stories. In "Multiple Personality Disorder" the problem is not "Multiple Personality" but "Disorder," which I don't have.
10) What annoys you the most, in general?
Schedules, deadlines, dates, appointments, phone calls. I am almost phobic towards these things, finding it a constant battle to overcome my hesitance toward this very necessary aspect of life.
11) Where in the world do you live?
Next door to Carmen Sandiego.
12) What part of your country do you live in?(city, countryside,...
I'm living in a nice farm town, out in semiarid country. We've got a few more years before this town becomes a crowded suburb slowly being swallowed by overpopulation. I can actually go out and watch /ground squirrels./ Just lucky I guess. -.-
13) Do you consider yourself to be psychic, in any way?
I have never seen magic. I have never experienced it. Even though I can feel it, I can't say it exists. I am haunted day in and day out by a strange force that seems to echo from everywhere and nowhere, yet when I try to touch it, and affect it, nothing happens. Long ago, when I read about the "stilled" in Robert Jordan's novels, I identified with them on a _literal_ level. I would be interested to know if anyone else has felt like this.
14) Do you consider yourself to be of above-average intelligence?
I prefer to let my words speak for themselves.
15) Is your living space (e.g. room/house/apartment etc) furry themed?
Since I moved I've had a chance to put some stuff up around my room that do reflect my furriness. Mostly just nonfurry stuff to enhance the environment, but I have the cutest little critter statue from Japan. Me an' my mom loveses dwaggies. We've been collecting M. Penă's Windstone dragons for years. Not much else though.
16) What kind of music do you like?
Mostly romantic classical, but of all types of symphonic music, from Rimsky Korsakov to Sibelius to Mussorgsky to Copland. I enjoy Debussy and Liszt, and I am particularly partial to a few choral works of Bach.
17) What do you do to relax/wind down?
I write furveys. (snicker) I write stories, music, and poetry to relax my creative needs. I like to sit quietly surrounded by the trees and woodland animals until I am at peace with myself. My mother has given me a few tips from her experience in meditation. When I am physically tense, I go exercise to feel better.
17.1) Who are your favourite furry characters?
[e.g. Mickey Mouse, Chester Ringtail, Amy Squirrel, Sonic etc]
I don't like excessively cute or shallow furry characters. Mickey Mouse is out, as well as most of Disney altogether. (Robin Hood was a close shave...) I don't like the Looney Tunes as much since that show is an insult to society's intelligence. I suppose I like Amy Squirrel by Eric Shwartz... she's kind of boring though, a brightly budding housewife, if you know what I mean. I like Perri(Mike McGee) much better. I've never heard of Chester Ringtail. Has anyone heard of him? Tellmetellmetellme. I don't like Sonic the Hedgehog as he's portrayed in fanfics, TV, and video games. I like the concepts behind the show though. Mobians and roboticization and such. Some others might include:
Ms. Brisby from the secret of NIMH
(and the rest of the cast)
Tod from the Fox and the Hound
Robin Hood from Robin Hood (you know which one)
Ms. Frisby from Ms. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh(R.C. O'Brian)
Brian Eric Coe
Paddy the Beaver from Paddy the Beaver's Pond
Straker Skunk (who had a darn good story about Mobians!)
Mog the Slam Dancing Moogle
Draggy, and Pip from Chrono Cross
Chitto the Chobin Hood
Niccolo (who is calling him?)
Teepo from Breath of Fire III
17.2) Who are your favourite furry musicians?
http://www.vulpine.pp.se/fmf/ is the best place I've found to find furry musicians. Since there are a thousand different ways to imagine a song, I don't think music can be inherently furry, but furries sure can write good music! One day I hope to add myself to these notable ranks. One of my greatest dreams is to have one of my compositions performed by a live orchestra. Ah wouldn't that be wonderful. But until then, I'll let the songs keep playing in my head as they always have...
18) Do you draw/write/make furry things?
I write with a passion. There are enough stories in my head to fill a small epic, and I can only hope that I will overcome my irritating need for perfection and actually get them out on paper. Thus far, I have been successful. I draw as a hobby, though I have thus far been constricted to pencil sketches. Coloring has never been my strong suit though, and I have a talent for putting exactly the wrong colors in the wrong place. My favorite thing to do is draw nonmorphic anthropormorphs. I also do perspective and scenery.
19) Have other furs seen them?
My stories (some of them) are posted publicly on Miavir's index. Check
out my site counter on my main site too! I made it. ^.^ The last
time I got a letter of feedback was 9 months ago, though.
20) Have non-furs seen them?
My mother and my sister have seen my drawings, and they liked them. My
sis knows about this web page, but has thus far ceased to comment on the
stories aside from, "When are you ever going to get ____ finished?!"
As far as I can tell most people don't care one way or another about
most of my stuff. It's really depressing sometimes, despite striving
to add to that sense of wonder at the works of the great creative
masters, I produce little but indifference instead. Just a little bit
of self discipline and committment and I /know/ I could do great
things. How to get that though... *shakes head*
21) Have they been shown somewhere ?(Avatar, newsgroups, web pages, comics, fanzines)
22) Are you a meat eater?
I see nothing wrong with totally consuming another creature. It's not the physical aspect of death that bothers me, it's the fact that death is eternal. In practice, I consume little meat, mostly fish. I'm usually completely vegetarian. I was never taught to exclusively love meat, as most people in America unfortunately are. When I am heavily into anaerobic exercise, I tend to crave meat more. Of course, being only 1/4 rabbit I can't get all my protein from plants.
23) How does furriness influence your life?
I am. I exist. For me, furriness is so fundamental, that I don't know what it's like not to be. Isn't it more strange that so many people find themselves not furry? I mean, talking animals and anthropomorphs are intuitively sensible in my mind. The fact that there are no talking animals or anthropomorphics makes me question the rightness of the world in general, or my place in it.
24) Do you think about furriness more than anything else?
I'm filling out this furvey, aren't I? ^.^
25) Was your furriness evidence from a young age?
At about age 9 I realized that I could feel wings and a tail and wondered why I wasn't on all fours. I was in the mall at the time with my parents. It wasn't very interesting otherwise.
26) What do you like most/least about being furry now?
It's not a matter of like or dislike. I *am* furry. It's an unquestionable fact in my mind. I like being aware of my own incompleteness. It's better than ignorance, I guess. I especially like all those wonderful people out there in the furry community, fun to play with, wonderful to talk to, and supportive of my own lifestyle.
I dislike the fact that even my friends and family get uncomfortable when I start talking about 'furry'. It gets to the point that I can't find *anyone* who wants to talk about my ideas for a story. I know no one personally who even has considered being a furry.
27) What is/are your 'totem' animal(s)?
A Synx! You might be wondering WHAT THE HECK IS A SYNX, well I kinda made it up. Originally I thought I was a dragon, but I finally realized that dragons hold a non-personal role in my psyche. (i.e. they make great characters) Dragons will always be a part of me, but only about half.
Besides, I could never give up the chance to (poofluffle) my fur. ^.^
As I was on fur.lifestyle,
> A small creature melts out of the bushes. It looks not more than 90 cm
> long, from tip of nose to tip of tail, rising just over a foot tall at
> the shoulders.
> The nose is broad, somewhat triangular, with a pair of tiny flat
> incisors centered on the upper jaw. The tail might be the most familiar
> part, as it resembles the bottlebrush of a fox's, orange in color down
> to a white tip at the end, but the movement of the tail seems almost
> reptilian. Then it pops up like a squirrel?
> A brush of burnished dark red fur crowns the head and covers the backs
> of the ears, traveling down the nape of the neck to a pair of velvety
> orange wings, carefully folded on the back. The animal drops down on
> four downy paws, regarding the gathering of furrs with a hint of
Click here to learn more about synxes.
Synxes, related in no way to the Sphynx or the Lynx, are actually a magical crossbreed between a small species of river dragon and a frabox. A frabox is something in between a rabbit and a fox, also an artificial creation. The name of our creator was lost in myth and legend, possibly the Faerie who are notoriously camera-shy. We've been around for darn near 500 years, and still doing fine as a species. Our name comes from an older species we were patterned after, which has since gone extinct unfortunately. I don't really remember why, but it certainly isn't a characteristic of the modern synx today!
Other than my synxiness, I clearly identify with almost any animal species. I have a mongoose, a lemur, a robin, an otter, a Ferret, a red squirrel, a dragon (of course), a fox, two raccoons, and a Jindo (Dog) as characters. Not to mention a wolverine, a horse, a beaver, a devilbunny (evilfloof), a kitten, and a few porcupines. Oooh, and a coosel, a spider, a were-weasel, a nacalite, an antifox, a red panda.... More pop up all the time.
28) How, and when, did you realize your furriness?
9 years old. I must have been reading too much Tailchaser's Song. (Tad Williams) I've been furry for more than half my life.
29) Was it by accident, or did you strive to discover why you felt this way?
I strove to discover myself, constantly questioning my curious fixatedness on "imagining" that I was not human. Finally, I concluded that I wasn't going to be able to convince myself that it wasn't real, and left it at that.
30) Do you think that your (human) body resembles, in any way, an animal? (e.g. long, slender feet)
Humans are strange creatures indeed. They walk on two legs, bear only the sparsest amount of fur. I'd have to say that man does not resemble just about anything. We're the sad clowns of evolution, strange and ungainly, and driven by our dreams of other things.
Incidentally, I never saw the reason everyone seems to assume that anthropomorphic creatures have to be 'digitigrade.' It occurs to me that walking digitigrade on two feet would be an incredibly inefficient mode of travel, and balance would be more difficult. Humans' and birds' flat feet are clear signs that 'digitigrade' is a very poor way of walking on two feet. Of course, I think furries that walk on four feet are ideal, so don't listen to me. ;)
31) Do you think that your personality resembles that of any animal/furry?
Yes. Synx. What synx means to you is for you to decide. (and me to define. ^.- )
I think of a synx as a smart little telepathic critter with a short fuse connected to a (thankfully) shorter temper and a magical, inborn tie to the workings of Mother Earth, herself. An excellent scavenger with a delight in exploring new things. Arboreal, by habit, but often living near the water. Whee, I'm an ATV! Vroom vrroom...
32) Would you prefer to not feel furry?
I have considered this so many times, I cannot count them all. Should I be furry? What right do I have to be different? Why am I not normal? Why can't I get these ideas out of my head? I agonize often over my overwhelming (or alliterative) imagination, and constantly struggle to find what is real and what is not.
Sometimes, I wish that I could be happily human, and never have to know that I'm not the person I see in the mirror. To be furry is to know that the one true desire, the one thing that will make onesself complete, is unattainable by any means. I really hope I see some magic soon.
33) What kind of furry interests/hobbies do you have?
I write stories. They most all involve furries. Again I wonder how anthropomorphics could be left out of a story. To me, they're just about as important as a human (which is just a strange kind of anthropomorph.)
One of my greatest dreams is to make a role playing video game. Such an ideal blend of all forms of art in a new and exciting form that I can fully devote myself to. Of course it'd be furry. I have the story already in my head. Majorly furry, actually. Now all I've gotta do is figure out how that 'Make' utility works...
34) Do you ever doubt how furry you are?
Doubt? Who, me?
35) Are you ashamed/proud of being furry?
I'm proud that I can step aside from my accustomed brethren and stand against the winds of hopelessness and the caverns of loneliness.
However, I am not proud of being furry. I think it's very important to emphasise that being proud about something means you acknowledge it as being special or abnormal. I avidly avoid the idea that furry is something to be proud of. There is a danger in taking pride in something. You risk falling into a battle of submission and domination, trying to decide "who's better." Condemning another group of people as less than yourself is the worse evil, but raising your own group above that of others is close behind in the running. I don't get on a high horse about furry. Holding 'furry' up as something special means I have to admit that it's not a natural way to think about things, which I do not. I like to talk about being furry, not preach it.
I make _no_ judgements on sexual preference, but as an example: I condone Gay Rights marches. I do not condone Gay Pride marches. Regardless of my opinion of homosexual people, I can't help but get disgusted at the idea of trying to justify your group as "good." I'm just glad there aren't Straight Pride marches. If we hold too much pride in the groups we gather in, then we'll get upset when other groups don't hold to our ideals. Anger at the people who aren't following the 'right' way might lead us to try to convince them of it. This leads to prejudice, persecution, and holocaust.
Hey, they're just the groups we gather in. It's nice to be in a group. Let's be proud of our own accomplishments and let the group speak for itself.
36) Have you ever worried about your 'furriness'?
I've mostly gotten over it. Discovering the furry community has helped me a lot. Learning that I wasn't alone in my strange feelings and desires helped me come to terms with them. I'm glad that I'm furry, and I would never wish it any other way. Thank you, Oren, Phil, Brian E.C., Skytech, T.Woolfe for giving me stories with which to hope again. Thanks to Nebulous, Nevis, Chili, and others for making me feel welcome despite my inherent wariness.
37) Did you ever think you were childish/weird/confused?
??? I \*am\* childish. I \*am\* weird. I \*am\* confused. I don't try to deny it. I'm actually rather proud of it. ^.^
(I was told my behavior is more childlike than childish. Stupid semantics. ;b)
38) Did you every attempt to seek professional advice/write to a problem page?
Again, I wish. I have thought long and hard about consulting a psychiatrist about my deep-set depression and angst. I can live with it, but I often wonder if I had an impartial person to talk to, maybe I might find some peace in my life. The problem with talking to people is I wouldn't want to alienate my friends, and I wouldn't want to tell it to anyone else.
I have talked to a therapist, but mostly she wanted to know about my overcontrolling father and stuff. Then she got to talking about her own neuroses, pretty soon I was feeling not just a bit put out. *shrug* I dunno, without a job I can't afford the $15 co-payment my insurance requires.
41) Do you wear 'furry' clothes?(not necessarily fursuits)
No, as a unwilling human, I try to look the part, dressing as neutrally as possible. I see fursuits as a poor substitute for furryness, to the point that being human is a better expression of furryness for me. Of course, it may be different for others. Personally, I find fursuits dissatisfying and uncomfortable.
I'm not sure what other kinds of furry clothes there are. I'd be perfectly happy to wear a hat wif ears to a furry con, if I ever come out of my hole to go there.
People in fursuits always made me uncomfortable, even as a kid. Not because I was afraid of them, but because I was not confident of myself. Seeing people going around in those things just made me afraid that my own discomfort would make them somehow embarrassed. Kind of a feedback loop there.
Cold, unfeeling masks frozen in expressions of cheerfulness or
solemnity. I think that's the hardest part about fursuits.
42) How does your furriness influence your lifestyle, personality, appearance, emotions or thoughts?
- Vocalization: barking, meowing, howling, yipping etc
I'm known as somewhat of a noise maker. I have tended to squeak, whir, chibble, grrr, click, etc... out of habit since before I can remember. There's really only one sound I have never been able to duplicate (and I am eternally envious of the person who can). Just to warn anyone who I ever get the chance to meet, I do make odd sometimes animalistic (sometimes mechanical!) noises. Mostly just whistling though.
- Physical: walking digitigrade, pouncing friends etc
Well, I sometimes forget myself and scratch the side of my head like an animal would with its backpaw. My sister loves teasing me about that one. I shake myself off in the shower, I whistle along with the birds, I hiss when something really distresses me, I talk to my cats, and the squirrels (and I bet they're just *pretending* they don't understand). I am proud to say that one of my friends called me a "stinking cat." Of course with no sink or fountain nearby, it is *purrfectly* reasonable to lick my hand and use it to wipe the sweat off my forehead.
- Online play: acting out your phenotype within a virtual world
Well, I don't play a synx. But I play LOTS o' critters. Very fun fun.
- Imagination: thinking about being an animal and/or furry in real life
Oh all the time. I was just grumbling in the garden today, "If I were about cat-sized getting in to trim this shrub would be a snap!" I've taken lately to walking alongside myself as a "synx with human golem" self image. Every time I log into my computer, there's also a reminder for me to think of what my current form is (often a synx).
- Shifting: similar to 'imagination', but more intense. A form of meditation/hypnosis which induces a strong awareness with your phenotype
Yes. Since an incident a few years ago, I've been able to do this almost second nature. Here's what I wrote about it:
I'm not sure what happened on this vacation [to Japan], but somehow my mind's eye became clear. All my fancies and fantasies -- every facet of my imagination was shining like a diamond mirror. Maybe it was the stress, more likely the miles and miles of grey city. So many people so happy to live in a cloistered, commercialized... I'll stop complaining.
Perhaps it is better to tell a story. Suffering from a persistant case of pneumonia, and a long car ride, I was daydreaming about a tiny birdlike creature flying through a narrow tunnel of red and orange grid lines. I was trying to see how fast I could change the creature's path of flight to match the tunnel which I copied from a computer game, without losing my concentration. Soon, all I had to think about was whether to bank left or right, to dive down or to flap upward. Then the tunnel became more narrow. I had to hold the wings closer in for less maneuverability. The end of the tunnel was the hardest. I could only make a long dive onto a blue bumper pad far below, which would boost me up the last slope in the tunnel, too narrow to use my wings for more than gliding. Had there been any turns or unexpected drops, I would hit the wall and the game would be over.
Thankfully, the tunnel was smooth and straight. I came out into an antechamber which was a huge bubble of the same red and orange grid lines. "This is it?" I thought. "No safe landing anywhere." I tried to close my eyes and shut out the lights when I remembered my eyes were already closed. "Maybe if I open them?"
I opened the wrong pair of eyes. Wrong in the sense that I did not expect to see a verdant canyon filled with the lushest green plants and trees I had ever seen. Walls of green rose everywhere along the walls of the canyon bowl. Covering the scene was a vast, unbroken curtain of water, a waterfall through which I peered. And reflected in the water was the astonished face of a young dragon.
Since then I've been able to do that with any species, including my own, the synx. I don't know how much that helps. I can say that I feel incredibly lucky to be able to see things so vividly, and hope that relating this tale will enable others to share the experience.
- Dreams: dreams/nightmares relating to animals and/or furries
September 11, 1999
I dreamt about a strange world where a tree city of powerful magicians lived. I saw a little fox girl who, even as she slept, had spidery streamers of magic rolling around her. A quick flash of Mei from ToToRo but I suppressed it quickly. As she woke, she pulled lightning from the sky and stood up, shining with power and smiling with a simple joy.
Then, she released it into a tornado that caught up her light laughter, and two cat-boys who had been poking around in the upper leaves. They went screaming up into the air, only to land on a mountain top in the capable arms of their rhino guardian. He carried them down the mountain, to the canyon where their parents were waiting, and worrying. The walls of the canyon were scored red rock sandstone, catching the sunlight shining from behind me.
"Pretend we aren't worried." one of them said peeking at the kitten-bearing rhino approaching. I remember seeing a long pale stripe on his otherwise tan colored tail as he tried to stop its worried flicking back and forth. The family might have less rowdy, independent children if they let their kids know that they were worried more often...
Then, I saw Garfield(tm), fighting over a treasured chicken. A snapping box got it first, though. Then, Garfield was snapped back into reality as the magic world fell away and he found himself in the kitchen by Jon's forbidden chicken, with Jon tapping his foot nearby.
I woke up.
Hee hee. About half my dreams are furry. I write them down every chance I get.
43) Do you collect items relating to your totem animal? e.g. statues, plushies etc.
Statues yes. M. Pena rocks! (Dragon sculptures) He/she makes their wings too small though. I also like his/her winged cats, but I've not found many other furry sculptures.
Plushies... I have yet to see them make a cuddly dragon plushie. Don't have any foxes or bunnies either. I'll stick with my childhood cat plushies thank you.
44) Do you collect miscellaneous furry items?
e.g. books, magazines, etc...
Rumors of my monetary excess have been greatly exaggerated. I don't have a job, except school, (yet! yet, I tell you!) so I don't have any money to spend on furry material or anything else for that matter these days. I really didn't know there *were* furry magazines, books, etc... until about 1999. Maybe I'll ask for one next Christmas (or get a job, you loser!)
45) Has a major event in your life ever been affected by your furriness, or had a furry theme?
e.g. a wedding
No. I have never met someone who was also furry in person. I try to find that out whenever I meet someone.
46) Do you think you are furry for a reason, if so, why?
Does anything have a reason except what we assign to it? I am furry because I am furry. I can't give a better reason. ... but I hate the word 'can't' so...
On an objective sociological level, I might be furry because I can't stand the crimes humanity has done against itself. I learned about people like Hitler, and Stalin, and William the Conqueror, horrible tyrants that caused pointless suffering. I learned that humans kill each other over religion and beliefs, that humans can convince themselves to accept slavery as morally right, that other humans reading from the same book (the Bible) can condemn slavery as morally wrong, yet do nothing about it. I watch helplessly as the plague of the human race slowly covers this planet. Humanity is not much if we can't control our population. From space, we're bioluminescent bacteria. I don't want to be a part of this species, so I have built an elaborate system of denial to justify the fact that "I'm not one of them."
On a mystical level, I might be a displaced spirit, a soul in the wrong body. We furries might all be animal souls in human bodies because there are no intelligent animals left for our souls to inhabit. Furthermore, since Man has taken such domination over the planet, the karmic imbalance is causing those who would normally be human to transform into a more diverse group of beings, in an attempt to reset the balance. However, since for whatever reason, magic seems to be absent, we cannot physically transform and so spend our times filling out furveys and playing on MUCKs.
On a practical level, I am a furry because I like to be. Thinking about the world in an anthropomorphic way comes naturally to me, and I see no reason not to be furry. Ultimately, we make our own reasons for doing things, whether prompted by a higher source or not. I am a creature of my desires which I spend my life shaping to excellence.
47) What would you most/least like about being 'truly' furry?
Ooo, I like this one.
Being furry ultimately means making some connection between man and animals that most people can't. I think if things were 'truly' furry, the world would be a much more interesting place, full of life.
The race of man is living under a mistake. Through our sole ownership of intelligence, we have managed to completely subdue almost every biome in existence on Gaea. Why can't we stop ourselves? Why can't we resist the temptation to make things worse for others to our own benefit? Can't we realize that what we do affects everything, including ourselves? Should we realize this?
No. The missing piece I see here is not a quality of man. The average 'true' human is, by nature, unable to comprehend that their actions lead to the destruction of themselves. We are not self reflective as a species. Mankind cannot yet change this fundamental quality. There is a piece missing, and I ask myself, if not from Man, then from who?
Animals. The spotted owl never complained to Congress. The bald eagles never marched on Washington protesting DDT. If you pave over a forest and put in a mall, the creatures within the forest will die or leave. We hurt their homes, but they never ask us not to. They will not and can not prevent our great minds from overcoming their unresponsive existence.
Why not? Animals *should* be able to voice their opinions. Animals *should* be able to communicate with humans as well as we communicate with ourselves. The fact that humankind is alone in the world is killing us.
You have to teach a child that animals don't talk. You have to convince them that animals are simpler minded than us. But it is natural for a child to assume that they talk. The untrained mind seeks to communicate with the animals. Yet animals do not talk, and cannot communicate on our level. I think that is fundamentally wrong, and I wonder what caused it.
48) Do you ever worry about being furry not being as you imagine?
That's one of my favorite topics. I think furry is exactly what I imagine because I define furry by what I imagine. I want to emphasize that furry is not 'animal'. I would not give up my sentience to become furry, any more than I would kill myself for money. Being furry just isn't cool if you can't enjoy it. On the other hand, I do not have a rosy picture of furryness in my head. I see it simply as another state of being. Here is a man, here is a furry. Here is a rock. Here is a tree.
If I were furry, I wouldn't expect drastic improvements on my life, nor would I expect immense tragedy to befall my life. I would just be... furry. It's a matter of feeling *right* about things. Furryness would give me a sense of completeness that I do not have as a human.
49) Would you worry about being shunned by society/friends/family if you became 'truly' furry?
No. Of course not. If I was the *only* one who became 'truly' furry, then I probably would be more worried about the *interest* of society. I far more fear the lab cage than loneliness. As an afterthought though, given the chance to become furry, I would do my utmost to understand the process so that I can help others learn it too, even if it meant being subject to the scrutiny of a laboratory. (I'd want to be on the same end of the microscope though.) This sentiment goes for returning from the dead as well.
50) Would you (given the chance) live in a furry-only world?
Unquestionably. I would prefer it if there were humans too. They *are* a type of furry, in my opinion.
51) Would you become an animal/furry (assuming you could change back), given the chance?
Yes. I wouldn't be picky about the species either.
52) Would you become an animal/furry (assuming you *couldn't* change back),given the chance?
Yes, without hesitation. I've asked myself this question many times since that dream I had about failing to transform. Can I go through with it? I have since decided that I can and I will, given the chance. It would have to be a Synx in this case however. Any other form would eventually give me as much problems as being human.
*note* Reason dictates that if there is a way to change into a furry, then there must also be a way to change into a different kind of furry. This may or may not include Man as a furry.
53) Do you ever fantasize about being 'truly' furry?
Yes. I even write stories about it. (Imagine that!)
54) Describe your furry alter ego.
As I said, I perceive myself as a Synx, but I have many different imaginary characters of all sorts of species in my head. I have also said that I don't consider reality to be more important than imagination. Therefore, all of my characters have equal importance as myself, and they are all alter-egos. Maybe I'll get them together for a group sketch someday. (giggle)
I had a serious identity problem, in that I couldn't care about myself, only what I imagine. I realized this recently, looking into a mirror. All I saw was the mirror. The reflection. There was nothing looking back. Not even me. Since I read Vonnegut and Thoreau, I haven't been able to justify my existence. Alter ego? I don't even have an ego to Alter.
And the crux of the problem became clear when I tried to write a story for the New World Awaiting universe. What a shock it was when I realized that I had nothing to identify with, nothing I saw myself as. If that star had gone off, I'm quite sure I would have ceased to exist.
This was a problem I could not solve on my own. I put my trust in the furry community to help me solve the problem, and I was not disappointed. Thanks to all of you wonderful furrs playing with me, and offering the most wonderful help, I was able to find myself. Thank you, everyone. I'm glad I could count on all of your help.
It's really awful; I still can't face my reality. But now my problem has lessened, since the only thing I have left to deal with is the inevitability of death. Show me someone who has died and come back, and I may be able to approach reality again.
Heh, in my efforts to understand us as a whole and not individual beings (thereby avoiding death of self), I realized the real problem isn't death; it's entropy. For some reason things fall apart and never come back together, and that's the cause of all the suffering in this world not brought about by our own actions.
55) Is your furry alter ego a carnivore/vegetarian/omnivore?
Well, when I'm not having silly identity mixups, I'm a definite omnivore. I like omnivores because they are efficient. A Synx' diet would probably best be compared to that of a raccoon: berries, roots, fish, bugs, even leaves of some types, not to mention leftover garbage when forced to live near humans. Birds eggs are a favorite treat, and an occasional squirrel is not unheard of.
Don't any of you squirrels/fish/bugs/plants/birds worry though. I never eat anything that can ask me not to. Strictly nonsentient diet.
56) What furry things do you watch/read?
e.g. films, cartoons, books etc
I watched the Secret of NIMH, Robin Hood (you know which one), Bambi(the book is better), and Flight of Dragons (betcha haven't heard of this movie! o.-). I have read some of the Redwall series, countless furry fiction on Miavir's and TSA, one of the Ringworld novels (you call that furry?!), Watership Down, At Patty the Beaver's Pond, Rikki-tikki-tavi, the *real* Bambi, and many more.
57) Are you religious?
I am agnostic. Since it seems I have to define that for everyone I meet IRL...
Agnostic means that I do not know if there is god. I do not presume to know if there is god. I believe that I can't know if there is god based on what I've seen so far. I believe that other people are in the same boat. They may believe differently, but that's ok. They might be right.
58) What religion are you?
59) Do you think that being furry is like a religion?
No. Furry is just normal existence. It's like saying "Do you think Humanism is a religion?" Hmm... actually it might just be. Well, I prefer to think of my philosophy as being pro furry. Being furry is not a religion, but believing furry is the correct way to live can be considered a philosophy.
60) Does being furry make you question your religion/beliefs?
I don't have any religious beliefs. In a way, I'm worse than the Aethiests. At least they believe that god *doesn't* exist...
61) Are there others in your family who are furry?
62) Do you worry about people knowing about your furriness?
A bit. I try to keep from weirding out people for their benefit, but I'm not worried for myself if people know I'm furry.
63) Are there people who are intolerant of your furry lifestyle?
Look. 90% of the people I meet haven't even *heard* of furry, much less are intolerant of it. The biggest intolerance towards furry that I have found is on good ol' alt.fan.furry.
64) How do you cope with these people?
I don't respond to their posts.
65) Do you know someone who might be furry, but isn't aware of it?
Most people I see I can put in animal form. For instance, the guy next to me right now could be...rodential...a beaver. ( He's an Architect major. )
There were two friends I had who actually got into a conversation with me over who would be the best animal. I could guess for both of them. One of them was a mouse. The other was a Turtle.
They thought I'd make a great dragon, but they've obviously never heard of a Synx, now have they.
If the question is do I know someone who might be pro-furry, I have a few ideas, but don't see any reason to pry. I did find one guy who's heard of the newsgroups, but he seemed reluctant to associate himself with it. He doesn't enjoy talking about furry stuff so the point is pretty much moot.
66) How can you tell?
Behavior, habits, intuition, psychic aura? I don't know. I just like to guess. It's fun.
67) Have you ever introduced somebody into furrydom?
68) Is your Significant Other furry?
[i.e. your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife. Animals don't count!]
I have no significant other. Nor do I wish one at this point.
69) Do you think the world would be better if everyone was furry?
Yes. I have said before that animals cannot communicate on our level. If they could, then humanity would have at least *some* opposition to its frequent stupidity.
70) What newsgroups do you subscribe to?
[please avoid abbreviations like afd, and include a brief description]
alt.fan.lemurs--I really shouldn't post to this one until I go to see a lemur
alt.devilbunnies--They're out to get us. @.@
fur.stories.writers--A discussion on writing techniques
fur.mucks--It's about MUCKs, but doesn't get much traffic the big MUCK and my lil' list of MUCKs
fur.lifestyle--I'm posting here ^.^
fur.stories.storyboard--A place for group story writing
fur.stories.misc--Stories your grandmother could read (to your baby sister)
fur.stories.discuss--Discussing the stories on other fur.* newsgroups
Non Furry Newsgroups
(In other woids, I love to program games.)
(lots of spanish/spam in these... -.-)
sci.EVERYTHING (but all I do is lurk)
71) What furry-internet activities do you do?
I MUCK on FurryMUCK, FurToonia, SPR, Timescape, SpinDizzy, Furryfaire, GFM, Altered Realities, Neotokyo. I'd give a list of characters, but I doubt anyone's interested. I play around on IRC Yiffnet as Wesel. Haven't IRC'd in a while.
I read stories like those posted on Miavir's index
and the Transformation Stories Archive (TSA)
and the TSA-Talk mailing list
I maintain a website for my stories (shameless plug)
72) Do you access FurryMUCK (or similar), to live out a virtual furrylife?
Yes, to an extent. I love role playing, and I live through my characters. I do not consider it any less important than my life IRL, but I do hold it separate from RL, and do not pursue anything but a good story on the MUCK.
73) How important do you think the Internet is in your furry lifestyle?
I wouldn't be filling out this furvey without it. I have been raised in an academic, scientific environment and until the internet, I was the *only* one I knew who was furry. I probably would be half crazy from unfulfilled creativity if I hadn't learned otherwise. Now, I'm completely crazy with fulfilled creativity, and I'm quite satisfied.
74) Do you access/did you join the Internet just for the furry stuff?
No, I wasn't aware of Furry Fandom when I started on the Internet. I access the internet for stories, furry, encyclopedias, current facts/news, research, and good ol' GNU.
75) Do you have your own web page/FTP site?
Here we go again.
76) What kind of things are on it?
Stories. Not all the ones I have written, but the ones I have finished certainly.
77) How did you discover the online furry community?
This is almost funny. I remember the exact event.
I was in my house, having recently watched the Secret of NIMH. I couldn't get the main theme song out of my head, that wonderful song... and I decided to try to find the lyrics for it. I pulled up altavista and did a search on +"The Secret of Nimh" +"lyrics" and immediately found them... to be rather disappointing. Oh, well. Nice tune, though. I clicked idly to the main page of the person posting the lyrics, and stopped to look at the web rings at the bottom. "Furry?" I said to myself. "Isn't that people who like Nature shows on PBS?" Curious, I clicked... and clicked and clicked. I could see that the list of 'furry' websites was not going to end any time soon, so I gave up, but not before noting the mention of one newsgroup 'alt.fan.furry'.
That was 1999.
alt.fan.furry almost turned me away from the fandom. Of course I would have continued being furry, but I couldn't get around in such a convoluted, bitter newsgroup. I was delighted to talk about furry stories and furry philosophy, but I couldn't escape all those annoying flames, both from critics of furries and the resentful furries themselves.
Certainly, I laughed at a few. Flamers can be as good as British comedy, sometimes. I was also good at avoiding reading them, but flamers are much more prolific than discussers, and I was despairing at not being able to talk to the people that I *knew* were out there. I saw a message:
[FAQ] Introduction to the Furrynet (fur.*) newsgroups Farthing W. Fox
Now that got me interested. My ears perked up (well relatively) and I tried subscribing to the public news.fur.com server. I found a wonderful community of furrs that told stories and identified with each other, and in general stuck together, almost flame free. I consider myself blessed.
After perusing fur.mucks, I tried them out and LOVED them. They are great games that require three things, a good imagination, a talent in programming, and the ability to role play. I don't think I could have found a more appropriate game for myself. I get to play with furrs as furrs using the wonderful tool of imagination. You know that beaver I was talking about? Well, now he's playing Quake(tm). I have never played Quake, but I've seen it firsthand, and I still think the MUCKs are better.
78) How did you discover the furry community?
Well, for me the only furry community I know is online, so...
79) Are you glad that you discovered the 'furry community'?
No. I'm bitterly resentful. Here me rant. Rant rant. (gigglefluff)
80) How have you benefited from the 'furry community'?
It has given me an outlet for my creative and philosophical nature.
81) Have you met (real life) furries?
82) Do you often go to furry gatherings?
e.g. Confurence, informal
I've never been to one. I would hesitate to go. I'm not entirely trusting of people in general, and I don't know if I would be able to convince myself to just *go* somewhere to socialize. I'm something of a recluse, though I've been told I make a good friend in person as well as online. I would have to go against my natural inclination to attend a furry gathering.
83) What activities do you participate with other furries in real life?
I don't know any. If I did, we would role play. GURPS4EVER! (cheer)
84) Do you own any pets, or have access to animals?
My mother has 3 cats. I love and care for them when I am over there. My father refuses to keep pets for their own good. The household on my dad's side is so volatile that we would never be home long enough to give a pet the love and care it needs.
85) Would you like to own some pets, or have access to animals?
Yes. I like pets. They freely give an invaluable bond of simple friendship, a lifetime of hilarious antics, and a different look on the world in general. All they ask for in exchange is food, shelter and love. I like pets. I like caring for animals in general. I have even seriously considered going into Veterinary medicine. I don't think I could stand the sadness of dealing with so many sick and dying animals though.
86) Do you work / have you ever worked / do you want to work with animals/furries?
I would like to, if my heart could stand it. You are aware that Vets have to kill their patients occasionally...?
87) Do you 'bond' easily with animals?
Yes. I can see on their level. Most cats and dogs get along easily with me. I have a general knowledge of how to approach an animal in a friendly way, as well as some of the specifics. (The softest fur on a cat is the belly, but you pet there at your own risk. (slash/slash*gnaw*)) I know not to look predators in the eyes, and how prey animals look at you sideways, not head on, and I'm not embarrassed to offer soothing tones to befriend any animal that I meet. At the same time, I find myself frustrated. I want to learn more about bonding with animals, and I rarely have any opportunity to even see them.
Hmm... maybe I *do* need to volunteer to do some work at an animal shelter or something. At the very least, it would disillusion me very quickly.
88) Do you agree with hunting?
First of all, only in moderation. Hunting should keep species from overpopulating, not wipe them off the face of the earth.
Also, only if the animal is completely consumed, by people and scavengers thereafter. I don't like trophy hunting. I would sooner see the hunters' heads up on the wall than that of a deer or elk. Don't you sport hunters know that foxes gain a valuable source of calcium gnawing on discarded deer antlers?!
89) Are you concerned about the environment?
I think if we don't do something soon, we are all doomed. I suppose that counts as concern. I'm doing everything I can think of to help the environment including learning how not to drive. It's interesting how so many people think it impressive to learn to drive, when it's far more difficult passing up the chance to use a car over more energy efficient means of locomotion.
On a carpool lane freeway (in Californee, USA), there are 4 times as many non-carpool lanes with only 1 driver per car. That's a minimum of 8 times as many single car drivers as carpoolers. Probably more like 12 times on average.
I found some actual statistics (link now dead) that said carpool lanes should be removed since 93% of the cars drive on the remaining 80% of the roadway.
However, assuming an average of 3 people per car in the carpool lane, that means about 81% of the people drive on 80% of the roadway. If they all carpooled, we could have the same traffic (and less pollution) on only 3 lanes. And this is using the most pessimistic anti-HOV statistics!
There are countless other examples, and I think much of our technology and incredible innovation should be focused on controlling our population, and making our way of life more hospitable to life in general.
90) About cruelty to animals?
Oh, don't even go there. If anyone is cruel to an animal, they lose my respect and gain my animosity almost instantly. Only the worst most twisted people can get any kind of satisfaction out of hurting something simply because they can. I'm still mad at someone for burning a caterpillar with a magnifying glass. (The poor thing was writhing in agony!) I think cruelty to animals is worse than killing them. (I killed the caterpillar, afterwards.)
91) What are your favorite kinds of pet?
Eeek. I really don't know. Dogs are happy silly and wonderfully loyal. Cats are independent, deeply loving and closer to our kind of intelligence. I've never seen a ferret in person, though I've read that they make great social rambunctious pets. I think most of the other animals are not legal everywhere, especially in my state. Though I've heard skunks, raccoons, and certain breeds of oppossums can make wonderful pets, I don't think I'd be up to such a responsiblity. Mice and rats are cute. This goes for snakes too, though boas are simply majestic. I love the way parrots can copy what you say. I hold bird feeders and squirrel feeders in equal value (and apparently so do those cute squirrels!) I generally prefer roam-the-house huggable pets than cage pets. Especially snakes 'cause they hug back.
92) Are you interested in real animals as well as furries?
Oh yes. My ideal furry is mostly nonmorphic. The way I see it, there should be all ranges from tool bearing morphic furry to winged or quadrapedal nonmorphic furry.
93) Do you have a greater-than-average knowledge of your totem animal(s)?
i.e. do you own books on wolves or foxes, etc.
I have completely read Peter Dickinson's "The Flight of Dragons."(betcha didn't know this existed either!) as well as seen the animated movie by that name with him in it. I have read one book called "The Book of the Dragon" detailing dragons in history and literature. I have read Anne Mccaffery's Pern series and though I don't really like her writing that much, I do like her fire lizards. I read the entry on the pseudodragon, and the phaerie dragon in the AD&D monstrous compendium, as well as the entry on dragons in general. From these sources, I've coalesced my idea of a 'dragon' which is similar to all of them, and unique to myself.
Not too much here, but I have had quite a host of web resources and stories on foxes to understand these critters. I've never seen one, though my mom was lucky enough to. I'd say the best resource on the 'net would be http://www.ozfoxes.com/aafoxes.htm I've read through the entire thing, though it does have a quick reference at the top.
There is always the definitive resource: http://www.devilbunnies.org (evilfluff).
Aside from that, I had a friend who kept a few rabbits and I got a good idea what those cute little not-rodents are like. I loved Peter Rabbit, and Brer Rabbit, a main character in one of Disney's few really cool books: Uncle Remus' Stories. I don't know about the movie. I was 5 or something when I saw it. All I can remember is singing as loud as I could, "Zippidee doo DAH Zippidee Ayieeee"
Rikki-tikki-tavi remains a jewel of a novella in my eye.
I have read Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh, as well as the sequel to be wonderful. (as well as the sequel to that! Not by Robert C. O'Brien, though.)
Brian Jacques writes the Redwall series for which I am eminently respectful, though I haven't read more than 2 of his novels.
This huge encyclopedia of mammals I'm to lazy to go look up the title to.
94) Do you ever get annoyed about how animals (in particular, your totem animal) are portrayed in fables/mythology?
Momotaro, and almost any Japanese children's fairy tale really irritates me with the way they portray animals. On the other hand, I do like the kitsune and spirit lore that sprung from that selfsame culture. I absolutely *hated* the way they portrayed animals in Bambi, and Pocahontas. Well, Bambi might have been cool, but Pocahontas' animal helpers were just bad. I generally don't like it when animals are put into the 'superkyoot' role, or the 'sidekick' role. I just don't see the ideal main character as being human.
And you want annoying? In film and literature, where's all da synxes! We synxes *seriously* need some more press coverage. Hmmph!
95) Have you ever/do you enjoy watching animals in the wild?
e.g. lions on safari, foxes in your backyard etc
Oh, I wish. As I've said, I live in a suburban community that is being swallowed by nearby cities. Except for tree squirrels, and deer on the side of the freeway, I don't live near animals.
I had the opportunity (not in a long while *sigh*) to go on monthly outings and camping trips to the wilds. Now the memories return to me...of seeing a deer herd complete with speckled faun...of yelling at some young people not to throw food at the raccoons (who almost looked more resentful than the kids)...of hearing the wild boar grunting outside our tents, as we waited with baited breath to see if they could break into the food locker.
Yes, I have had the pleasure. I also forgot to mention birds. Sparrows, Robins, Blue Jays, Ravens, Blackbirds, and little brown song filled hummingbirds have graced my sight.
I'm just all doe eyed when I get to go to the zoo. Somehow, though, seeing animals in cages always disappoints me.
And the other day, I saw for the first time in my life a ground squirrel! It was a new bike. I definitely should have checked the air in the tires. But of course, riding it home, both tires went immediately flat. I still had a good 2 1/2 miles to go, in 100 degree weather without any water. Not fun at all. I was alternating between riding the thing at about half the speed it was supposed to go, and walking along side it. Feeling the sunburn begin to creep up my hands in the desert weather, I tried to concentrate on something else. Then I saw it, like out of my North American Mammals book.
A little ground squirrel sat there in a pipe, looking at me out of the side of its face. It was plain grey with a brown undercoat, and a long, skinny little tail. Before I could even slow down to take a look, it scampered into the pipe, and vanished.
All in all, I considered the trip to be a success, though I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who wants to see a ground squirrel.
Since then, I've found some ground squirrel lairs. They're so cute the way they look at you sideways, then run off away from their burrows with tails up, then slink lowly back to the hole, trying to keep from being seen. It usually takes 'em about 10 minutes to start ignoring you, and then they come out, wander around, even play together. I watched one squirrel chase another up a the side of a wall and down again! Did you know they can chirp like birds?
96) What is your least favorite kind of animal/pet?
Um...least favorite? You're implying that I rank them in order. Well, I don't. However, I am afraid of insects. Something that was beaten into my youthful conditioning, I suppose. I have been working on it for years however, and I think I've reversed the conditioning enough that I can look on insects with wonder as opposed to fear. They still freak me out when they fly right up to me though. (No offense Bryan Derksen, if you can hear me!)
97) Do you read books/magazines/etc about totem animals, theriopomorphing or animal theology etc?
I have a meager supply of cash, but I know an opportunity when I see one. Poking around a book sale for the public library, I saw a beautiful hardbound book titled "Wild Animals of North America" filled with photographic illustrations and explanations over everything that bears a placenta in our vast northern continent. ($5 dollars too. What a find!) Yes, it only talked about 'mammals' but it remains my primary reference, as most of furry is mammals. When I have need for information on unusual animals (mongoose, lemur...) the internet provides almost all the information I need.
I saw a 5 year old subscription to a mail-order service called the 'Wildlife Fact Files'. It supposedly delivered periodic fact sheets on animals across the world. But with no web sites even mentioning it, I think the company must have folded. Oh well.
Generally I avoid "magic" books, especially the ones which offer easy, effortless ways to increase your sexual promiscuity, societal dominance, or material comfort. I really haven't seen any others. I have read books on dreaming, and lucid dreaming. Found something on hypnosis
98) How would you describe your sexuality?
Hmm... I don't know. Not quite mature yet I guess. I'm not attracted to men or women romantically. While not opposed to it, I don't participate in group sex. Outdoor sex? Is that really any different than indoor sex? Fur-suit sex just disgusts me. I'm similarly not attracted to plushies, and I don't participate in TS. I guess that would leave me in the category of zoo. However, an emotional attachment is very important for me in sexual relationships. Being as I have never had it, I suppose I wouldn't know where my sexual preference lies.
99) Does outdoors sex make you feel more furry?
Does indoor sex make you feel more human?
100) Do you prefer humans, animals, plushies, furries, or are they equal?
In a sexual context? I can't say. In an aesthetic context, it would have to be animals, furries, then plushies. I consider humans to be a minor subcategory of furries.
101) Is your sexual orientation with humans the same as it is with animals?
Yes. *sigh* These questions are too provoking.
102) What are your favorite animals/characters for zoophilia/zoosexuality/plushiophilia /toonophilia/ inflatable animal sex?
None of the above.
103) In what aspects of your sexuality are you open?
Are non-furries aware of your furry sexuality (if appropriate)
Open, but kind of nonexistent. I'm extremely tolerant of others' sexuality, as long as they don't impose on me.
104) Do you enjoy sex with animals and humans simultaneously?
Never had it with either humans or animals, so I don't exactly know how to combine them.
105) Are any of your plushies anatomically correct?
That is too weird, even for me.
106) It is a common case for many furries to live their lives as heterosexual, and then through furry to discover their attraction for the same sex, (be it same sex humans or furries) - is this the case with you?
No. I don't see why furry philosophy has to be so closely oriented around sex. It's just a way of life, a hope for the future. I wouldn't be any more sexually active furry than not. I don't think anyone should feel they have to be.
107) Has your discovery of being furry made you re-evaluate your sexuality?
108) Do you feel you are more open sexually due to furriness?
Well...I don't know what kind of person I would have turned out to be if I wasn't furry, so I can't really answer.
109) Do you enjoy casual sex with furries/non furries?
110) Do you practice safe sex?
Only the most effective method. Abstinence
111) How do your masturbation fantasies involve furries?
Well, yes. I *am* furry after all.
112) Does sex in a fursuit make you feel more furry?
I've never been in a fursuit, so I wouldn't know. I doubt it. Much too hot and scratchy, and impersonal. No matter how you look at it, a fursuit is a mask. I can't settle on anything but true furryness. Sucks for me.
113) Do you compare a relationship (sexual or not) as being analogous to a pack or pride behavior?
No, and I find it irritating when people try to use the word 'pack' or 'pride' on the assumption that I will find some deep meaning in it. I don't like people telling me what I should imagine.
Whew. That was a nitpicky way to end a furvey. I come off sounding so bitter.... Let me say that furry fandom is one of the best things which I have come across in my stumblings through life. I filled out this furvey on an idle whim. I guess it kind of grew beyond that. I hope it will help you understand my half fractured nature. Good luck everyone and dream. Always dream.
114) Starling? I thought this was Tasci's furvey?!
Hee hee. ^.^ If you haven't figured it out yet, I'll make this clear. Tasci = Starling = Tasci = me. I am Starling, always have been. When I first came on, I was indistinct, unable to see myself. Over the months that passed, I discovered my self awareness as a Synx. When the need arose to change ISP's, I simply couldn't resist the chance to pull the a little identity swap. Fooled ya didn't I?
So I'm Tasci. Tasci Synx. Starling is just a nickname that people keep calling me for some odd reason.