Originally I had these written up on my whiteboard in the office where I work, but they became inconvenient whenever I had to diagram something. Now I bring to you a listing of puns, tricks of wordage that actually make sense and odd observations that may one day make it into a story I write.

His hart was pounding

Wreckless behavior

Can garou

There's no place like home for the Hollandaise

It sucks to be a vampire


Ground Hog Day

Mötley Accrüal — an apt description of the way the interest rate on my savings account fluctuates.

Take a peek at the peaks of my piqued interest

No cache on board

If the natives who used to live on the Bikini Atoll were called Bikinis, would a jaundiced, premature baby of that tribe who contracted measles be called an "itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, polka-dot Bikini"?

Does hashslice give you the munchies? - Wondered aloud at a lecture on Perl.

He screamed until he was horse

Into every logic a little intuition must fall

Scinitillating synonyms for cinnamon

A juggler vein

A bouquet of flours

Faux paw

Go fourth and multiply

Stationery moving truck

"Icy dead people!" - said by A. Klein during the X-Files epsisode entitled, "Død Kalm" when Mulder and Scully came across a room filled with corpses. Actually, what he said was, "I see dead people!" to which I replied, "Of course; it is the North Sea!"

When someone says, "The wedding went off without a hitch", is that good or bad?

Out, fowl daemon!

I recently heard of a horrible killing at a mental hospital. It seems that an orderly was distributing the evening medications when one of the patients leapt out of his bed and stabbed the man with a sharpened butter knife. The attorney general didn't worry about it much; she said it was an open and shut case of pre-medicated murder.

Would a sunburnt photographer be "overexposed"?

Isn't it odd that the first thing you do a an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting is tell everyone your name?

Dieter's Nightmare: A desserted island.

Why is it whenever I split an order of Peking Duck I always get stuck with the bill?

If you win a race that ends at a paper factory does that mean you can say that you beat your opponent to a pulp?

If the mayor of Pella, IA declared himself to be royalty then would he be known as the king of panes?

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