"You're under arrest! Put your paws behind your back!"

"What's the charge, officer?"

"Possession of a controlled substance with intent to distribute."

"I'm clean! You'll never get those charges to stick!"

"We've got several witnesses right here willing to testify against you. You never should've come inside this bar and tried to peddle that crap."

"Bastards! You're all a bunch of back-stabbing hypocrites! I'm a Scab just like you! We're all supposed to look out for each other!"

"That's enough of that! Come quietly now before I add threatening witnesses to the list of charges!"

"What ya go there, Officer Brown?"

"A 412-11, Sargent. Attempted distribution a hallucinogen to a minor."

"I suppose you got proof? Did you see him do it?"

"Better than that. I could smell the saliva of at least four kids on his right arm."

"Good work! That's all the proof I need. Lock 'em up until tomorrow morning. Judge Goodyear just loves sending these lowlifes up the river."

"You can't do this to me!"

"Sure we can. It's against the law for a minor to lick a toad-morph! Take 'em away, corporal!"

"I want a lawyer!"

"Before ya go, Chuck."

"What's up, Sarge?"

"My old lady baked up a new bag of biscuits. Ya like some?"

"Sure! The last thing we need is people complaining that the police force has doggie breath!"

Website Copyright 2004,2005 Michael Bard.  Please send any comments or questions to him at mwbard@transform.com